You ever thought you farted but in reality, you shit? I just did

[Bloody Anus]

A few weeks ago I had about 4 bowls of cereal and chocolate milk throughout the course of the day. Now, while I am nowhere near lactose intolerant, having this much milk inevitabely gives me amazing gas. So I went to work and proceeded to put on a show for about 4 hours. Finally I had to shit, which went without problems. However, shortly after this I still had a tremendous amount of gas, this time even better than before! Unfortunately, on what must have been around my 40th fart of the night, some got out. Luckily I live 5 minutes from work, so I just went home and changed. It feels really gross and makes me cringe whenever I sit down knowing there's some shit in my pants, so I had to drive home with my ass hanging off the driver's seat. It was almost like I was standing.
I didn't really mind any of this though - I mean, 40 farts in a 4-6 hour period, I couldn't be too disappointed that one small one slipped out. I wrote it off as a case of mere probability.