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Posted ByDiscussion Topic: How do you wipe?
scmods
Break into my dad's pc and go to the porno directory. It takes a lot to freak me out, and his archive can do it. Time & Time Again.
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 1:44 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Feb. 01
I see that PlasticMan is not blind; therefore he shits. Have I made my point clear yet?



State County Municipal Offender Database System
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katylina
KIDNAPPER
Spill 'em if you got 'em
JBA Thinks I Am A Goddess!
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 1:46 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Feb. 02
click here: Visit this Website








This message was edited by katylina on 4-12-02 @ 1:49 PM
2 tired 2 give N F
One of the Teen Tomatoe Boys is Retarted... Guess which one I am!!!
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 1:51 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Jan. 01
kat that site is disturbing...



Nothing to see here...move along now...
scmods
Break into my dad's pc and go to the porno directory. It takes a lot to freak me out, and his archive can do it. Time & Time Again.
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 1:54 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Feb. 01
I have found a flaw in my theory that the blind don't shit since they wouldn't know when they were done wiping. Dogs don't wipe either, but most dogs I know both shit and have sight. Very weird. I have some research to do. Be right back.......



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The Painter
1/2 a bottle of Jack Daniels... it's a cure-all
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 1:58 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Sep. 00
quote:

Dogs don't wipe

As I said before, they lick. Then they come in the house and give you a great big kiss.


I have walked through many lives
Some of them my own
And I am not who I was
Though some principle of being abides
From which I struggle not to stray


ClusterF@#$
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 2:27 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jan. 01
sitting seems awkward to me... i was not aware there were a variety of techniques. I am a stander... but willing to try an alternate method. So what are the logistics of sitting, anyway... do you go under the front, give yourself the old reach around, or is it a lift to the side motion? Someone explain!!!! Inquiring minds (and asses) want to know!


Rock over London. Rock on Chicago. Wheaties... breakfast of champions.

Buttmunch
USA
Autoban


Head Slap... Swim Move...
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 2:34 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Oct. 00
My mommy usually just has me lean forward while she wipes me.




Don’t get me wrong, I am not fighting to uphold the restraints that give protection to rights fully accrued upon facts so nearly permanent as to be substantially impervious to change, rather I am for the supervision of changing conduct or conditions and are thus provisional or tentative.





TMS


This message was edited by Buttmunch on 4-13-02 @ 11:34 AM
katylina
KIDNAPPER
Spill 'em if you got 'em
JBA Thinks I Am A Goddess!
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 3:16 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Feb. 02
quote:

kat that site is disturbing...


Thank you-- I have been called disturbed quite frequently in my short 23 years of life. :-p


Visit this Website

CarsonOGin
Froy seems ok, Faceman is fair. But Slash is a cunt, FTL is a total soccer mom, JoeyBigArms thinks he's a fucking message board god.
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 3:40 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Dec. 01
quote:

do you go under the front, give yourself the old reach around, or is it a lift to the side motion? Someone explain!!!! Inquiring minds (and asses) want to know



You have to lean to the side, left or right depending on left or right handedness, and wipe from front to back. If you go in through the legs you risk shitting up your balls and your forearm. That's no good.

In Indonesia they have a hole in the ground and a bucket of water. That's it. You have to wipe your ass with your hand and then wash it in the feces infested water bucket. I'd rather just die.





Copyright © 2001 by [
noisy].
All rights reserved.

Sale of these posts are strictly prohibited.

email noisy



ClusterF@#$
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 3:45 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jan. 01
Thank you for the explanation... I am greatful that it didn't require the use of diagrams.


Rock over London. Rock on Chicago. Wheaties... breakfast of champions.

Joey1120
SHOW ME MULE!!!!
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 4:12 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Jan. 02
I sit when I shit, and I don't get up to wipe...I'm too lazy...besides, isn't that a little uncomfortable to stand up and have to reach all the way back there? It's so much easier when you're sitting.

Joey






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CarsonOGin
Froy seems ok, Faceman is fair. But Slash is a cunt, FTL is a total soccer mom, JoeyBigArms thinks he's a fucking message board god.
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 4:29 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Dec. 01
You know I just thought of something.

I usually have to take a piss while I shit. If I could only hold the piss off until I finish shitting, I could just tuck my hog back and piss all the shit off my ass.

That's How Wesley Willis does it.





Copyright © 2001 by [
noisy].
All rights reserved.

Sale of these posts are strictly prohibited.

email noisy



rageparty
123...Not so bare anymore since I got a number underneath my name again
I also have an imaginary girlfriend.
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 4:33 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Aug. 01
I sit when I wipe my ass, anything else is just nasssty!

quote:

I don’t wipe.



Nassssssssstty!

quote:

A little lean to the side and you are a ok.



Nasssssssssssstty!




2002 Crack Committee Objectives:


1. 94 Wins and NL East Title by the Mets this year


2. Hate the Braves with a passion


3. All 5 Starters have winning records this year


4. Mets win World Series!!!

ClusterF@#$
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 4:36 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jan. 01
staring at Joey's naughty nightie pics, and then having visions of her on the bowl. Oh that's hot. AHAHAHAHAHAHA.


Rock over London. Rock on Chicago. Wheaties... breakfast of champions.

Tequila
Fez claims this land in the name of Portugal!
Why worry about the train if it never makes it around the tracks?? IrishAlkey wuz here!!!
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 4:47 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Jan. 01
quote:

I don’t wipe.

That's because Rookie licks you clean.


LET’S GO ISLANDERS!!!!!

E-Mail Me
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barch97
BBTB
The barch gots lots a dick
Theoretically, if I were to smack you in the face with my penis, it would leave a bruise in the shape of a mushroom.
I kind of enjoy my anonymity on the board
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posted on 04-12-2002 @ 5:17 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Jul. 00
I'm thinkin' maybe blind folks have a friend proof read it for them...



Long Live the "Syndication Underground"
The more things change...
The more they stay the same.

Scrappleking
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 5:19 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Aug. 01
I used to not be comfortable unless I was at my home base. A good friends or a relative's house was fine, same with hotels or vacation spots, but I never liked unfamiliar crappers. Than a few years ago, I was on an extended road trip, and friends I have to tell you, it changed my life. I used this toilet at some roadside vista in Colorado, and the toilets were just really, really, deep holes, with a normal toilet fixture on top. While there was not satisfying plop, there was some sort of jet of cool air coming up from INSIDE the toilet, it was unbelievable!

Now I LOVE to take a poop in strange bathrooms. Its a little adventure, usually its pretty bad, or average at best. But sometimes, you find a true diamond in the rough, and have a pleasent experience. Also, I kind of get a strut when I walk out of a public bathroom, or one a restaurant, store, whatever, and I know I truely left something horrible behind. The best is when someone is walking in when you're walking out, and you're like "nope, he's not gonna like it in there".

God, I do love talkin' bout pooh.

"Somebody took my phone number and called Afghanistan. Afghanistan! I've never talked to anyone in Afghanistan, I don't know nobody in Afghanistan, and even if did know anyone, I wouldn't talk to that Afghan ass for three hours! I won't talk to my daddy for three hours."
Beans Malone
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 6:08 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Mar. 02
Finally a topic I know something about.
After doing the best job possible with dry toilet paper: take two pieces of clean toilet paper, fold over so they're the size of one piece, and fold that in half. Repeat with three additional sets of two pieces of toilet paper. Then take the four doubled-over pieces, place them together, and double the whole batch over again. You'll have basically a square shape.

From the center outward, wet thoroughly, but not enough to tear the paper. Then unfold the batch one time.

Separate from the batch one of the four sets of folded over toilet paper, refold that set so it's a square again, and use it to wipe the anus. Best to wipe, for obvious reasons, from the area furthest from the anus, towards the anus itself.

A bit of experimentation will be necessary before you hit upon that right amount of water which allows adequate cleansing, but retains enough toilet paper strength so your fingers don’t go through the paper.

The first swipe or two will produce an amount of feces that may shock you, when you had been assuming you were pretty "clean" down there after wiping with dry toilet paper.

Repeat the wiping with each of the other three sets of folded over toilet paper.

After the last wet swipes, follow with a finishing wipe or two using dry toilet paper to mop up any remaining moisture. This will really get the area clean enough to eat off of.
:eek:
But anilingus is a totally different subject...
:eek:


Murder By Numbers Showtimes 1:30, 3:45, 5:55, 8:10, 10:10, 12:10.
PlasticMan
G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S.
Dhalsim-Style Hand to Hand Specialist
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 7:15 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Mar. 02
I think the real issue here, now that I think about it, is as thus:

Hammer, why the fuck were you and your friend discussing your ass-wiping techniques?!?!

Scary, dude. Scary.

..
It wasn't lies, it was just...bullshit.
diadelsuerte
G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S.
Philly Bluntside Brigade
Formerly diadelsuerte.
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 7:36 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Mar. 02
Theres nothing like a good routine for dropping a deuce... I like to use the S cubed method of going about things.. shit, shower, then shave. Believe me, theres nothing like getting out of the shower to the smell of steam and crap... its breathtaking.




"Get busy living or get busy dying."
Bloody Anus
P.L.F.
Portugese Liberation Front- Liberating Status' everywhere from the Tyranny of Portugal
HYBRID THINKS I'M A GENIUS
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 7:43 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jul. 00
I don't shower right after I shit, because my asshole is still open pretty wide and it stings when the warm water streams into it.. On the rare occasion that I do have to shit before showering, I try to leave at least a 30-minute gap between the two processes, for adequate closure time.




I think my mask of sanity              is about to slip


2002 Crack Committee Objectives:
1. 94 Wins and NL East Title by the Mets this year 2. Hate the Braves with a passion
3. All 5 Starters have winning records this year 4. Mets win World Series


Beans Malone
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 8:07 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Mar. 02
Now that I started shaving my ass it's not really a problem anymore but what about..
DINGLEBERRIES

[
Murder By Numbers Showtimes 1:30, 3:45, 5:55, 8:10, 10:10, 12:10.



This message was edited by Beans Malone on 4-12-02 @ 8:26 PM
QuickStop
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posted on 04-12-2002 @ 8:44 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Aug. 01
used to stand. now i sit.


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katylina
KIDNAPPER
Spill 'em if you got 'em
JBA Thinks I Am A Goddess!
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 11:32 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Feb. 02
What made you cross over?


Visit this Website

Kramden's Delicious Marshall
I think Yoda is sexy.
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 11:45 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Sep. 01
I wipe my colostomy bag out in the kitchen sink.



"My style is impetuous, my defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat your children."


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Displaying 26-50 of 68 messages in this thread.