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Posted By	Discussion Topic: Dear Grumpy (part II) - aka - Psychos R US
Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!!	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 9:28 AM
O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00	for those that have seen this, you know what to do. for those that have no fn clue - you'll get the idea. Please don't ask about vegetable fetishes. coughcoughGonzocoughcough The doctor is in. Newest member of Grumpy's Adopted Midgets: ShavinBush Any inappropriate behaviour should be reported to me. If you're having problems with your sig pic site host, feel free to go here: Visit this Website Alcohol! The ultimate excuse!
MaynardGKrebs	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 9:36 AM
O&A Board Veteran Registered: Jan. 01	Dear Grumpy, I have a problem that I need some advice on. I like to burn things. I can't help myself, if I see something that people are enjoying, I like to douse it it gas, and light a match. But, that's not the problem. After there's a nice raging fire going, I like to dip my balls in it. I like the charred black look on my testes. It really enhances sex. Is this normal? Now accepting newbie reservations for a three hour tour.
WNEWs GIRL i don't have a mule but i have a cock Intercontinental Intergender Thumb Wrestling Champion CUNT ROCKETTE The new "third". AmyMohrBuddy One line in my sig is absolutely fucking disgusting, see if you can find it.	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 9:40 AM
O&A Board Veteran Registered: Aug. 00	Dear Grumpy, I dont quite know what is wrong, but there is something wrong. I can't quite explain it. I dont know if its me or if its everything around me. I cant even beging to try to explain it because its just so weird. I probably dont make any sense. I dont want to go into too much detail here, but brazil isnt seeming so sunny right now. WHATEVER BEN ----------------------------------------------------------------- I'M ON THE ISLAND OF MISFIT TOYS! Famous Giant Hot Dog Molester "The best lessons in life are also the most painful" I love Danilo! Black as Snow Dont hate me because I'm different... Hate me because I like to piss people like you off
Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!!	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 9:41 AM
O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00	Dear Firebug, Your fascination with fire may stem from deep rooted feelings of insecurity. You need to probe why you set that fire. What exactly did you want to burn and why? For instance - was it a barrell? Why were you in the barrel? Was is a gay barrel? Perhaps you're hiding your true feelings of gayness and not willing to fully accept them so you set fire to them. My advice - come out of the closet. Be proud of who you are. Come on. Say it with me. Chant that mantra you want to chant. Don't be afraid: "I'm queer, I'm here. I'm gay, hooray". As for your balls dipping - that stems from your feelings of inadequecy towards your junk. You feel it's too small and by masking them in black, you're embracing the stereotype of black = huge junk. Be happy with your 3 inches. I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy Newest member of Grumpy's Adopted Midgets: ShavinBush Any inappropriate behaviour should be reported to me. If you're having problems with your sig pic site host, feel free to go here: Visit this Website Alcohol! The ultimate excuse!
TeenWeek what's a status?	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 9:44 AM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00	Dear Grumpy, I enjoy touching little children, especially dead ones. I also like having a girl piss on me and give me a hot lunch on my face. Is this normal? signed, Jim N This message was edited by TeenWeek on 6-28-01 @ 9:42 AM
Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!!	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 9:46 AM
O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00	Dear Whatever Ben, The rainfall in Brazil averages 2-3 inches on the coastal areas and more inland in the rainforest area. The national language of brazil is Portugese. Many immigrants migrate north to the unites states but often enter the country illegally. These immigrants are generally ostracized for their behaviors and their looks. My advice - bring an umbrella or move on to other territories. I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy =========================== Dear Jim N., My personal preference is towards living children. However, remember to bring duct tape, rope and camera. When the police DO catch up with you, you'll be able to proudly display the tape to your cell mate Bubba. Be sure to tell bubba about your fetish with children. It will make you very popular on the cell block. Oh and if someone calls you Prag, go with it. That's a compliment. He just wants to spend as much time as possible with you. You'll soon become mr. popularity. By the way - have you had a proctology exam lately? I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy Newest member of Grumpy's Adopted Midgets: ShavinBush Any inappropriate behaviour should be reported to me. If you're having problems with your sig pic site host, feel free to go here: Visit this Website Alcohol! The ultimate excuse! This message was edited by Raven on 6-26-01 @ 3:46 PM
KeeKee	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 10:04 AM
Psychopath Registered: Sep. 00	Dear Grumpy, All this talk of "gentleman's Clubs" and forum threads is making my brain(and body) want to take a vacation...to the other side what should i do to curb this fetish signed kurious KeeKee
Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!!	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 10:08 AM
O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00	Dear curious KeeKee, Curb the fetish? No, No, No, young lady. Do not CURB the fetish. Embrace the fetish. Go with the flow (unless it's Aunt Flo - ;) ). Your mind and body are telling you things. Listen to them. Listen to those voices. Listening to those voices is a good thing. Unless of course, they tell you to climb a clock tower with a high powered rifle and take pot shots at the people below, yelling at the top of your lungs "The world is mine. You are all scumb. Kneel before KeeKee, the ruler or Yore!". In which case, medication is a good thing. But other than that, I say go with feeling. If you feel the need for assistance with this matter, feel free to contact my office and make an appointment. I'd be more than happy to help you. Strictly professionally of course. Research is my speciality. I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy Newest member of Grumpy's Adopted Midgets: ShavinBush Any inappropriate behaviour should be reported to me. If you're having problems with your sig pic site host, feel free to go here: Visit this Website Alcohol! The ultimate excuse!
Doc Smith I Love Anthony Zinni	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 10:12 AM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 00	Dear Grumpster, I have a problem. My ass is too hairy. It didn't used to be like this, it was as bald as Michael Jordan's head, but then one day this fuzz started to grow all over it. It got worse. It grew in thicker. I can now cornrow it if I want. My bunghole looks like a barber shop floor. So, should I use hot wax or just sit on a lit stove for a few seconds to singe it off NOTE: I don't like the smell of burnt hair Sincerely yours, Backside that looks like I'm wearing wool underpants From cowardice that dares not know the truth, From laziness that is content with half-truth, From arrogance that thinks it knows the whole truth, Deliver me
Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!!	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 10:19 AM
O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00	Dear Hairy Ass, You suffer from an ailment called HairitisAssanoma. It's a rare disease that strikes one in 100000 people. Research has shown that it appears primarily in children of In-Breeding. Were your mom and dad brother and sister? or first cousins. Does your family tree go straight up? Do the words "Family Love" bring sheer terror to your mind? As for the hair, corn rows work but nothing beats a good old fashion 70's perm. If it really gets out of hand and people make fun of you, give your ass a name and call it your pet. I'm sure you're familiar with that concept. Rumors have it that many a man has given your ass a name and made it their personal pet. I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy Newest member of Grumpy's Adopted Midgets: ShavinBush Any inappropriate behaviour should be reported to me. If you're having problems with your sig pic site host, feel free to go here: Visit this Website Alcohol! The ultimate excuse!
King f-tard	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 10:21 AM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Feb. 01	Dear Grumpy, My brother just turned me on to this, and I am a bit afraid I like it too much. We like to whip out our junk and lay it on the driveway and then back the car tires over it, just the back tires, but usually both sides. Is this a normal activity? We tried to get the dog to do it, but he just kept running away. He was very receptive, though, after we dunked him in a tank of Zambucca and lit him on fire. Needless to say, our mother is not too happy about the mess on the driveway. What do you think I should do? Sincerely, Da Tard. Let the purge continue. Dallas, here we are, in your faces.Alcohol. The cause of and solution to all of life's problems
Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!!	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 10:33 AM
O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00	Dear Da-tard, I'm puzzled that your brother would share his Dick Tricks with you. If you remember correctly, the last time your brother shared an experience with you, you came to realize that he really wasn't "SCARED" of the lightening storms. He was using them as an excuse to jump into your bed. Waking up with unexplained vaseline in your pajamas was not a coincidence. But getting back to the subject at hand. The ancient Aztecs had a similar ritual of dropping large rocks over their junk. It wasn't until the Spaniards came that they came to realize what "hard as a rock" truly meant. As for the dog not wanting to join you - 1. He's dead. Bury the poor soul already, 2. If you get a new dog, AVOID the color Bright Yellow. Dogs don't like that color. I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy Newest member of Grumpy's Adopted Midgets: ShavinBush Any inappropriate behaviour should be reported to me. If you're having problems with your sig pic site host, feel free to go here: Visit this Website Alcohol! The ultimate excuse!
o&aswallow	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 10:43 AM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01	Dear Grumpy, Where do I start. As the "old man" of this board, I'm finding it more and more difficult to keep up with the sexual demand of the hotties of this board. Don't get me wrong, it's not a problem of performance, it's just the sheer numbers. They have come to realize that the "youngsters" around here are just frustrating them, unable to awaken those carnal desires that they so deperately need staisfied. I am not one to say no, so the burning the candle on both ends has turned more into a multi-teared shelve of candleabras. As always, your infinate wisdom is always welcome. Signed, Constantly Reloading o&aswallow Recognized His Destiny Early. Too Many Hotties, Not Enough Horny Goat Weed Now accepting foster children applications. Cash only, no checks. Email at onaswallow@opieanthony.com Pia has occupied one of the foster bedrooms as of 6/22/01. If she is naughty, I'll do the spanking. jackal420 has entered foster care on 6/25/01. I've had to put ankle bracelets on this one, so give him time. It at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking till you do suck seed. - Curly Howard. Pennsylvania resident, but original NYC listener. This message was edited by o&aswallow on 6-26-01 @ 10:50 AM
SNAKEBITE	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 10:49 AM
Psychopath Registered: Jan. 01	Dear Grumpy, On my mid-year accomplishments at work I listed that I listen to O&A every day, that I have over 400 post on opieanthony.com and that I have learned to play nice on the message board. My boss stated in our review that he finds O&A offensive and that if he catched me on the board again he will fire me. I have considered removing him from the equation but if I end up in jail then I will not be able to listen to O&A or be on the board. I am very confused what should I do? Remember don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things
WoundedAngel Absolutely spectacular, and 1337 as hell.	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 10:55 AM
Psychopath Registered: Jan. 01	Dear Grumpy, I have a serious problem...and it's not very easy for me to talk about it...but I find myself needing more and more sex to be happy. I also need to have sex as often as possible and as many times a day as possible. Is this normal for a woman? Any help will be appreciated.
Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!!	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 10:57 AM
O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00	Dear Dillusional, I have a question that plagues me when I read your letter. Is the weather nice in the fantasyland that you live in? No, really! Is it? I need a vacation and your fantasy world sounds like a kick ass place to hang. It's truly sad to see one of the first true signs of aging kick in on a friend. Senility can be devastating. You must be regressing to the times when a good strong wind was all you needed to pitch a tent. Now, in your age, VIAGRA has become your best friend. Fear not, OLD friend. All is not lost. The ladies of the board appreciate the humor of a old man. They amuse you because you remind them of their own fathers, and to some, their grandfathers. Keep light hearted and know that even in your old age, the women still laugh at you... I mean with you...... I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy Newest member of Grumpy's Adopted Midgets: ShavinBush Any inappropriate behaviour should be reported to me. If you're having problems with your sig pic site host, feel free to go here: Visit this Website Alcohol! The ultimate excuse!
The Brain He's good at teh rhyming questions	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 10:59 AM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Feb. 01	Dear Grumpy, I have a serious problem that only you may be able to solve. I am a lab mouse bent on conquering the Earth and making it mine to control. The problem is that the whole "conquering" part is such a difficult task for one of such obviously small proportions. My assistant (who I shall call "Pinky") and I have been trying to take over the world for about six years now, and each time the effort has been a colossal failure. My question: should I continue trying to overthrow the world leaders and establish myself as your Imperial Majesty? Or would it be best if I settled down somewhere with a good mouse who will treat me right? Sincerely, The Mouse Who Roared "ARE YOU PONDERING WHAT I'M PONDERING?" Proving Dogs and Mice can co-exist! Proud Member of RonReddog's OA.COM C-Blocking Team!!!
Drunken GW I Pissed on a Church to get this Status.	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 11:01 AM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Dec. 00	Dear Dr.Grumpy, Could you hook me up with Ahlexus??? I think I have an answer to her "problem".:) signed The man with the golden finger.
Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!!	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 11:05 AM
O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00	Dear Snakebite, Often is the time, that most people don't appreciate the sarcastic humor known as Opie and Anthony. I know that you looked far and wide to find that job at McDonald's. Good jobs that involve grease and mopping floors. But the time may have come for you to move on. I hear that 7-11 is hiring. Feel free to apply there. They've recently lowered their IQ requirements. You've got a good shot. I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy ================================= Dear Wounded Angel, Please call my office and arrange for several in-depth appointments. Tell my secretary that you'd like to book the "special attention" appointments and that she should reserve the big couch room. I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy ================================ Dear Midget Mouse, You my dear miniature dickless friend are suffering from Cranial Posterior Diversion Syndrome. In laymen's terms it's call Headupyourass illness. Fear not, there is hope. With intense therapy and heavy medication, I think you can fully re-join society in a year or two. When you complete your treatment, there is a place in Orlando, FL that embraces your species. They also have a branch in California. You may want to seek out "The White Gloved One" and ask for assistance. I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy ================================ Dear Man with Finger up his ass, Due to ethical reasons, I am not allowed to disclose personal information on my clients. If you'd like to seek out Alexus, I suggest you contact her Master... I mean her Supervisor Gilligan. I'm sure Gilligan will be more than happy to give you her information, immediately after researching whether his boot will fit comfortably up your ass or not. I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy Newest member of Grumpy's Adopted Midgets: ShavinBush Any inappropriate behaviour should be reported to me. If you're having problems with your sig pic site host, feel free to go here: Visit this Website Alcohol! The ultimate excuse! This message was edited by Raven on 6-26-01 @ 3:50 PM
Whoremoan	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 11:15 AM
Hanger-On Registered: Oct. 00	Dear Grumpy: Why do fools fall in love? Mrs. Grumpy
Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!!	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 11:18 AM
O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00	Mom, How many times have I told you not to bother me at work? Is it my fault that Dad left? Okay - so I trashed his car and set fire to his boat. That's no reason for him to leave. Why are you always picking on me? Why do I have to be a big boy? Why did daddy have to leave? I need a hug............ Newest member of Grumpy's Adopted Midgets: ShavinBush Any inappropriate behaviour should be reported to me. If you're having problems with your sig pic site host, feel free to go here: Visit this Website Alcohol! The ultimate excuse!
SNAKEBITE	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 11:21 AM
Psychopath Registered: Jan. 01	Dear Grumpy, Thank you for the advise and since you have revealed my occupation. I might as well ask you another issue concerning work. While cleaning the mens bathroom I have noticed tiny dark hand prints all over the sinks. After further investingation (Ok Brain did a taste test) I discovered that the hand prints have pig fecal matter on them. Upon further reviewing the McDonalds video tape, it shows a midget ordering a kids happy meal(no mayo), playing with the pig in the ball pit and then going in the bathroom. Right afer that the hand prints appear. My question is should I provide a step ladder so the sink can be more easily reached or have a talk withthe pig concerning its boyfriend? Thank you for your input. Remember don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things This message was edited by SNAKEBITE on 6-26-01 @ 11:32 AM
Grumpy SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!!	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 11:35 AM
O&A Board Veteran Registered: Dec. 00	Dear Snakebite, Having some experience with swine (see past issues with girlfriends), I can tell you that pigs are generally very hygenic in comparison to McDonald employees. They are also loyal and have high moral standards. It is not uncommon for pigs to rat out their owners to the authorities. Hence the term "Squeel like a pig". Back to the issue at hand, would it be moral of you to not allow pigs in the establishment? How else would the snakebite family have dinner at a restaurant? Where would they go? Ponder this question, I'm sure you'll find the answer within in. By the way - please stop sending naked pictures of yourself to my pet pig. He's going to a shrink because of the nightmares your pictures are causing him. I hope I've been able to shed some light on your problem. Grumpy ================================== GONE TO PLAY GOLF. BE BACK LATER TO ANSWER MORE QUESTIONS. ================================= Newest member of Grumpy's Adopted Midgets: ShavinBush Any inappropriate behaviour should be reported to me. If you're having problems with your sig pic site host, feel free to go here: Visit this Website Alcohol! The ultimate excuse! This message was edited by Grumpy on 6-26-01 @ 11:49 AM
Joey BigArms I Need An Old Priest And A Young Priest	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 1:03 PM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00	Grumpy, I need your advice. In softball, if a runner’s foot hits the base before the first baseman catches the ball is he out or safe? Officially Part of JWO: skitchr4u, JasonFromRiverEdge & Jesus H Christ Warning: All Posts Have Sarcasm
CriticsLoveSnatch i know better than to ask for a status from you mean ol' mods Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag I shall call him mini-FTL	posted on 06-26-2001 @ 1:24 PM
O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00	Dear Grumpy, i have this problem. i have this inexplicable anger/fear towards midgets and dwarves. every time i see anyone under 5 feet tall walk down the street i can't help but kick them in the stomach 12 or 13 times before moving on. Is this normal? Anyone who i've told tells me they hate those tiny bastards too, and thoroughly enjoy kicking the piss out of them, just like i do. can you help me? Here's a toast, to all those who hear me all too well Here's to the nights we felt alive Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry Here's to goodbye, tomorrow is gonna come too soon... My adopted mini-critics are Stefanie and The Zodiak Killer 9 weeks and counting This message was edited by CriticsLoveSnatch on 6-26-01 @ 1:27 PM

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