CDIH

Dear Martha:

It’s about time you started taking responsibility for your failed version of The Apprentice. Your performance was terrible in that the show lacked mood, temperament and just about everything else a show needs for success. I knew it would fail as soon as I first saw it – and your low ratings bore me out.

Between your daughter, with her one word statements, your letter writing and, most importantly, your totally unconvincing demeanor, it never had a chance – much as your daytime show is not exactly setting records. […]


Essentially, you made this firing up just as you made up your sell order of ImClone. The only difference is – that was more obvious. Putting your show on the air was a mistake for everybody – especially NBC.

In any event, my great loyalty to you has gone totally unappreciated.

Sincerely,
Donald J. Trump

Dear Donald,

You would be nothing without your daddy.

Thank you.

Dear Television,

Crap crap crappity crap. How about some less crap and derivative crap?

Sincerely,
Mr. Thank God for Tivo

Dear Tivo,

I <3 you slightly less than oral sex.

Love Always,
K.S.

Dear bittorrent,

you're pretty awesome

yours truly,
hedcold

I thought he slammed her months ago? I remember him saying it's noone's fault but her own for the low ratings, and that was right around when it got canned or whatever.

I watched a few eps from the first season & I never saw the draw this show got - it was like Survivor-lite, and civilized with no real conflict other then personalities and catty bitches.

And while I don't have a Tivo, if I could marry my DVR I would. I really don't know how I got by without it.

Dear news media,

A surly letter Donald Trump could have slapped a postage stamp on and sent by mail does not qualify as news.

Thank you,
Disinterested

Dear Donald,

Please see a real barber you billionaire comb over cheapo.

Kindly,

some random asshole

Dear Donald,

Why do you wear a sailor suit, you don't see Daffy wearing people clothes when he's fuckin around with Bugs.

Sincerly,
G.S.

dear god,

please have make donald trump do his best impression of arpi, and give him a stroke.


love,
the world

Dear Santa,

I know you're not a fan of the jewish people but if you find it in your heart to grant a boy his wish, i'd like a fleshlight.

Thanks,
Anonymous.