Donald Slams Martha

[Keyser Soze]

Dear Martha:

It’s about time you started taking responsibility for your failed version of The Apprentice. Your performance was terrible in that the show lacked mood, temperament and just about everything else a show needs for success. I knew it would fail as soon as I first saw it – and your low ratings bore me out.

Between your daughter, with her one word statements, your letter writing and, most importantly, your totally unconvincing demeanor, it never had a chance – much as your daytime show is not exactly setting records. […]


Essentially, you made this firing up just as you made up your sell order of ImClone. The only difference is – that was more obvious. Putting your show on the air was a mistake for everybody – especially NBC.

In any event, my great loyalty to you has gone totally unappreciated.

Sincerely,
Donald J. Trump

[Galt]

Dear Donald,

You would be nothing without your daddy.

Thank you.

[Danked]

Dear Television,

Crap crap crappity crap. How about some less crap and derivative crap?

Sincerely,
Mr. Thank God for Tivo

[Keyser Soze]

Dear Tivo,

I <3 you slightly less than oral sex.

Love Always,
K.S.

[HedCold]

Dear bittorrent,

you're pretty awesome

yours truly,
hedcold

[Goatweed]

I thought he slammed her months ago? I remember him saying it's noone's fault but her own for the low ratings, and that was right around when it got canned or whatever.

I watched a few eps from the first season & I never saw the draw this show got - it was like Survivor-lite, and civilized with no real conflict other then personalities and catty bitches.

And while I don't have a Tivo, if I could marry my DVR I would. I really don't know how I got by without it.

[Danked]

Dear news media,

A surly letter Donald Trump could have slapped a postage stamp on and sent by mail does not qualify as news.

Thank you,
Disinterested

[Mad]

Dear Donald,

Please see a real barber you billionaire comb over cheapo.

Kindly,

some random asshole

[GonzoStyle]

Dear Donald,

Why do you wear a sailor suit, you don't see Daffy wearing people clothes when he's fuckin around with Bugs.

Sincerly,
G.S.

[HollywoodJewMoses]

dear god,

please have make donald trump do his best impression of arpi, and give him a stroke.


love,
the world

[GonzoStyle]

Dear Santa,

I know you're not a fan of the jewish people but if you find it in your heart to grant a boy his wish, i'd like a fleshlight.

Thanks,
Anonymous.