Well I leave for Wisconsin in the morning to haul my first kid off to college at The University of Wisconsin - Madison.
Now it's been awhile since the old man went to college so I'm looking for you kiddies to give me some current world advice to give my daughter.
After today I will not be on the board again until September 3rd or 4th so don't waste any time in giving me some much needed advice. After I get her settled in my son and I will be heading to northern Wisconsin for some much needed R&R to do some muskie and walleye fishing. If you watch the Wisconsin/Fresno State game on ESPN Friday night, I will be in the fieldhouse endzone and I will wave to you.
Have fun with my much needed advice.
Tell her to watch out for horny old men
Tell her to never drink so much she is not in control of her actions.
There are many BAD stories about girls who go to frat parties and then drink themselves into passing out.
make sure she knows she must be responsible for herself.
Tell her to have fun and experience everything. You're a smart guy, and I hope you've raised her right. If she has a good head on her shoulders she should be ok.
Oh yeah, if she's going to Madison, tell her to get a big warm parka or something. I've heard horror stories about the cold and wind there in the winter. She needs to make sure she keeps the wind off her skin when walking around.
Never, ever drink anything you didn't see opened or poured in front of you. And don't leave a drink unattended. If she leaves her drink on the table to use the ladies' room, GET A NEW DRINK when she gets back!
All guys are pigs. They will just say things to get in her pants, copy her homework, buy liquor for them. Tell her to become a lesbian for the first 3 years of college.
buy a webcam for her and give her this email address,
<!-- e --><a href="mailto:kenspen@opieanthony.com">mailto:kenspen@opieanthony.com</a><!-- e -->.
have her send treats often.
Quote:Get her spayed.
Now that was fucking funny!
Princeton Review voted UW as the number 1 party school in America (Nothing new, I think it's had that title dating back to when I went there). Rolling Stone Magazine voted the patio at the UW Commons one of the best places in America to hang out and it voted it's main library as one of the top 5 places in America to get a date. It always has been a great party school but it is one of the top academic research universities in the world. You can't argue with fun and education, but you do have to work on balancing it.
And yes Maynard, a hooded down parka is mandatory. Madison is on an isthmus between two beautiful lakes. When the winter winds blow across those lakes, it's cold as Hell.
Put her on the pill....four of my friends who went away to college got pregnant their first year there.
Get her some pepper spray
They make plexi-glass chasitity belts that don't set off metal detectors too.
Quote:four of my friends who went away to college got pregnant their first year there.
Yup
Always the friend :-p
Talk to her about credit cards before she goes away as well....the companies are vultures, and prey on college students.
Just tell her to disavow any knowledge of you being her father, and she should be fine. :-p
Quote:Yup
Always the friend
:disappointed: I didn't go away to school...I commute...see it can't be me! :bouncer:
Oh yeah, I almost forgot....
If she tells you she's dating a charcoal briquette, stop the checks!
Don't take candy from strangers.
Don't run in the hall w/scissors.
If you jump on the bed, you'll have to sleep on that same broken bed for the rest of the year.
Sleep with the boys from different Halls, so you don't have to see the more than once. :thumbs-up:
Tell her not to share needles.
Tell her nice girls swallow.
Oooh and tell her if her male teacher shows an interest in her as a student and invites her to his office after class....HE'S TRYING TO FUCK HER...he's not being nice! :crackhead: