CDIH

He trully is a jurassic creature

i said it first.

I know I was just agreeing with your sentiment.

I got the reference it was just not funny to me at the time.

You got nothing.

i'm glad you are back. hasn't been the same without you.

I got nothin left, I resort to just quoting others now.

BEN-VENISTE: I'm going to ask you some questions.... but first, I'd like to take a few minutes to bash the current administration, while ignoring the faults of the previous adminsitration, I'd like to make some statements that my liberal brethren would like to hear, and hopefully will generate applause from the activists in the audience. I'd like to begin with a non-partisan statement endorsed by Bill Clinton, Al Gore, John Kerry and Ted Kennedy. Republicans are bad, very bad.

(applause)

RICE: Is there a question you'd like to ask?

BEN-VENISTE: Just answer the question, Brown Suga'.

RICE: But you haven't asked any.

BEN-VENISTE: I realize that, but by not answering you're giving the impression you and the administration have something to hide.

(applause)

RICE: We have nothing to hide.

BEN-VENISTE: Come on, honey, I only have a limited time to be on television, and you're diatribe has wasted much of it.

RICE: I've said 13 words.

BEN-VENISTE: Seventeen, dammit! You've said 17 words and that's just like a Republican to spin the facts. Now let me ask you about the title of a paper I wrote in college that should've led this administration to taking steps to abolish all thing evil in this world. Do you know it?

RICE: Of course, I do. It was called, "Bad things will happen to Americans."

BEN-VENISTE: So why didn't you prevent 9/11? I laid it out for all to see.

RICE: But your paper only detailed the dangers of wild tumbleweeds and severe thunderstorms in the Midwest, what does that have to do with national security?

BEN-VENISTE: Look, little woman, will you just answer my question? I've prepared a proper answer if you'd like to read it into the record instead of answering with facts and other mumbo jumbo truths.

RICE: No thank you.

BEN-VENISTE: Again, you're taking too much of my time with your rhetoric and talking points. And again, you're refusing to cooperate. Would you agree to make all national security documents public so we can openly discuss all strategies and tactics of the U.S. intelligence agencies and military?

RICE: No.

BEN-VENISTE: Well I have no more question to axe you.

RICE: Thank you for your time.

GORELICK: You caused 9/11 didn't you?

RICE: What kind of question is that?

GORELICK: Look, I'm asking the questions here. Now you've wasted all my time and I only have enough time during this meeting where we're supposed to be asking you questions, to offer my own prepared statements on the evil Bush administration.

(applause)

RICE: I'd be happy to answer questions, if you have some.

GORELICK: No, thank you, we're quite content with hearing our own voices and this is my only shot for my kids to record mommy on television with our new TiVo system. It's quite interesting, it's like a VCR, but you can record shows....

(applause)

KERREY: Let me jump in here and...

(applause)

...remind everyone that Republicans are evil...

(applause)

...and let me ask you, Dr. Clarke, err...Mister Rice....err, Sweet, Sweet Condi Baby....

(applause)

...ignoring that the previous administration was in office for nearly 3,000 days and endured half a dozen bombings, attacks and other acts of terrorism, why did you not rid the face of the earth of all evils in your 233 days prior to 9/11?

(applause)

RICE: We were developing plans, trying to undo the do-nothing policies of the prior administration...

KERREY: Answer the damn question, woman!

(applause)

RICE: I am....

KERREY: Yeah, but you're answering the question I asked, I want you to answer the questions I have NOT asked yet!

(applause)

RICE: How do I do that? I'm not a mind-reader.

KERREY: You're the National Security Advisor, you should be able to see a minimum of 12.7 years into the future. Are you telling me you're incapable of doing your job?

(applause)
(applause)
(applause)

RICE: With all due respect....

(booooooo)

KERREY: Look, why do you focus on Iraq, instead of going after bad guys?

RICE: Iraq WAS bad, in fact in your own speech a few years ago, you said exactly the same thing and said anyone who disagreed should be shot on site.

KERREY: Don't use my own words against me, I had a different reason for saying what I did then. Now I'm trying to help a friend win the White House....er, I mean.....um.... SHUT UP, HO.

RICE: Excuse me?


KERREY: Look, I'm almost out of time, and since you've failed to answer my questions, I will now call myself Condoleeza and enter a statement into the record on your behalf....

(applause)
(party favors twirling)
(balloons popping)
(fireworks exploding)
(audience breaking out in song)

....we have determined in a non-partisan way that President Bush is a bad, bad man. We have also determined that despite all economic indications to the contrary, he's killed the economy, despite the lack of attacks on our own soil since 9/11, he's failed to protect the country, despite the fact that he's a Christian, we've determined, through documents we've authored ourselves, that he is, in fact, the Devil.

Thank you and good night.

Quote:it's like a VCR, but you can record shows

I know when I try to record shows my VCR just spits out the tape and says "I don't do that".

Like women who'll take it up the ass with a fist but won't blow you.

cause she knows where that filthy fist has been.

I didn't mean I fist the VCR's ass!!

GonzoStyle Wrote:I got nothin left, I resort to just quoting others now.

its ok. i haven't been myself in ages. :5:

you can get a good look by sticking your head up a butchers ass but id rather take the bulls word on it.

Keyser Soze Wrote:you can get a good look by sticking your head up a butchers ass but id rather take the bulls word on it.

Somewhere in Hell, Chris Farly is screaming for his residuals for using that quote.

he's not the only one

GonzoStyle Wrote:It wasn't a nigger joke, both were quotes from the Clayton Bigsby sketch from Chappelle's show in which he mentioned Condelleza Rice. I only mentioned the second cause of my dissapointment that laz missed the reference. Furthermore I explain it now cause I feel sad for an old man out of touch with today's youth yet trying so hard to fit in and be hip.

regardless of where you were quoting from, it was a nigger joke.therefore, my supposition was correct and i am the winner!1!
the fact that you had to once again fall back on that "arpi is old" gag shows my dominance.
i know at this point you will rely on the endless amount of ass kissing toadies on this board who think that your every utterance is mana from the gods, but in your cold black heart you will know that i am your better.







now kiss me and lets get back to spooning.

I am better than both of you

Quote:i know at this point you will rely on the endless amount of ass kissing toadies on this board who think that your every utterance is mana from the gods,

It's more like being allowed to partake in some of the ambrosia left over on the tables of the gods

It wasn't a joke, it was a quote.

should I explain the difference.. oh I forget you are so much better than me so I guess I don't need to. I don't expect anyone to say anything for me or to make me feel like I am special, that's your gig. I have often said I don't find myself funny nor do I ask for accolaids, you're the one with the constant need to validate your self worth. You string together some big words and try to use them in a non-challant fashion when indeed you really are trying to sound smart. Yet you use them for the same reason dennis miller uses them and it's not cause they're a part of his daily vocabulary. You are in no way better than me, you may have points in your life better than mine and I have points better than yours. But ofcourse you know so much about me, cause i'm a one trick pony who gabs off nigger jokes all day, you of all people got some gaul to call anyone a one trick pony.

PS- Kiss Kiss

Damn, and I like it when Dennis Miller uses big words. It makes me feel smart 'cause I understand.