Rules... - What you've learned

[GonzoStyle]

Your rules of life, what great rules have you learned?

1. if it's in your mouth, swallow.

2. if it doesn't fit, apply more pressure with some lubricant.

3. if it ain't funny in your mind, it'll be less funnier when you say it.

4. if you're gonna have to explain yourself, don't bother saying it.

5. if it tastes like chicken, it probably ain't chicken.