The return of Confessions - the confessional is open

[NaughtyAngel]

I have grown to hate long-distance relationships, and I'm starting to realise that they just don't work

they either dont work or they work for a bit then crumble. i have learned that time and time again.

im not going back to school this semester. i dont know if i ever want to go back until i figure out what it is i want to do with my life. what i thought was my dream, isnt really my dream anymore.

i want to get a job but i have done nothing to go about doing that. i get mad at FTL when he pushes me but i know in my heart that he just wants the best for me. hes truly my best friend right now and i know i piss him off by seeming careless about my life and thats the last thing i want to do.

my anxiety and panic attacks stop me from doing what i need to do to move on in life and i need to get over them but i dont know how.

in december i fucked up a great relationship i couldve had with someone and i still care for them deeply and it pains me that we have to remain friends and nothing more. when i look into his eyes i know i tell him how much i care, but i hurt him and i will never be fully forgiven for what i did. i have tried and tried to show him i am a better person but nothing i say will ever change his mind. deep down inside i think/hope he still has feelings for me too but he puts up a wall. i think about him a lot. i want to move on but its really hard.

the friendships i once made on the boards arent the same anymore. the people i looked up to the most arent as close to me as they once were. it upsets me. i always look to the past for the good times because i know they will never happen again.

im scared for gagootz, hes been a good guy to me ever since i started chatting with him. i hope that he writes to me as soon as he gets there and that we keep in touch,

((in a less serious note, im addicted to a voyeur site))



Edited By NaughtyAngel on 1042080623