Stuff that isn't important enough to have its own thread

[GonzoStyle]

Oh, but it's so pretty and pompous when you sit at the bar and the blueberries rise with the carbonation and then float back down.

it makes the drinker such a spectacle at the bar and so proud of themselves.

I can do that with the cherries in my apple martini!

[Goatweed]

seriously, you need to drink some non-gay alcoholic beverages.

[Keyser Soze]

im with goat on this one, you're an embarrassing drinker.

[Goatweed]

I bet he uses the stirrer as a straw too.

[Gooch]

i get razzed for drinkin the fruity drinks too. luckily wild turkey aand also gin & tonics pull me through

[GonzoStyle]

I also love mai tais!!!

[Galt]

I was scratching my ass before I went to sleep last night, and I don't know why I did this because I've never been a fan of assplay, but I stuck the first 3rd of my index finger up my ass. Maybe even the first 2/3

It actually felt pretty good.

[Keyser Soze]

thats not nearly as gay as a mai tai

[Goatweed]

agreed.

[Hoon]

I pee'ed on my hand about 2:30pm today and I can still smell it now even after washing my hands.
My pee is potent!!

[Galt]

I probably could have gotten laid tonight, but i passed her off to my brother. Only to come back to my apartment hearing her screaming bloody murder.

Now I regret it. I bet she was really good in bed.

[Bloody Anus]

If I ever got into an argument with a Russian, regardless of his name, I'd have to include the phrase,

'listen here, beyacheslav...'

[HedCold]

about an hour ago i got hit by a paintball walking down my street. i was all annoyed and stuff, so i called the cops. i was standing on the corner for like 15 minutes waiting for them to come, but when they finally came there was like 4 cop cars and a lieutenant. they checked the building it most likely came from, pissed a few people off and searched apartments, didn't find anything but paint chips from the guns in the hallway. i probably shouldn't walk down that sidewalk anymore for a while, but at least those little bastards were all scared and stuff

[HedCold]

oh and the best part, the lieutenant talking to the other cops afterward

"this is assault, but it may be aggravated assault since it was with a weapon. i'll have to check the google later for that one"

[Hoon]

you're not evil.
i bet you don't own a single track suit or have spiked hair.

[HedCold]

i specifically said "my posting" will be evil

[Hoon]

PFL

posting for life.
living for posting.

[Galt]

I'm single again.

[Gooch]

did she finally grasp that you have no soul.

[Galt]

I think it was that I'm not in shape and I suck in bed.