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So, I took a shower and everything today. I haven't taken a dump all day. I haven't been farting today. I haven't eating mexican food or anything. I'm not hot and sweaty. I'm not angry. I'm not nervous.
For some reason I just got a whiff of my own ass, and it smelled like I shit myself. I was in the middle of phone call and I shifted my seat and the sewage smell hit me. The smell was the same as if you walk into a bathroom that has a shit sitting in the toilet. and then proceed to stick your face inside the bowl.
But I had to finish up my call (great trading call by the way. I'm brilliant) and had to wait about 5 or 10 minutes. I couldn't imagine how bad the smell was. I was shocked that I wasn't getting looks from other people I work with -- that's how bad it was.
I finally walked into the bathroom and whiped my ass (I ddin't take a shit, I just whiped my ass.)
THREE WIPES. THREE. It took three wipes to clean all the ffeces off my ass. That's how much it takes to clean off a marginally sloppy shit right afterwards. I'm about to vomit at the fact that I had that much festering in my pants all day.
I want to burn my underpants.
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I thought Gonzo was Mr. Poopypants.
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So did you basically shit the other day and not wipe or do you just walk and shit?
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I don't know what caused it. I'm pretty sure I took a dump last night. But I took at least one, and maybe two showers since.
It's really scaring me. Is that what happens when you get old?
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its amazing you get laid
There are four kinds of people in this world: cretins, fools, morons, and lunatics.
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does the ass odor make them scramble for the door once you efficiently fuck them in 5 minutes?
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Galt Wrote:Is that what happens when you get old? I dunno, it hasn't happened to me.........yet
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I have yet to weigh the effect of the swamp-ass against being bald, fat, and poor when it comes to picking up women.
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sounds like anal cancer.... i swear if thats what it is, i will laugh my self to death.
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it wouldn't surprise me if it were Cancer. Sometimes I have really long hairs (like a foot long) that I pull out of my ass when washing.
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maybe thats from the guy just in there?
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i cant wait for the day when you try and tell us how inferior we all are because we dont have colostomy bags.
I love him. He's like those happy old people who become known for sitting by the side of a busy street and waving to passing cars. People drive by regularly and beep just to see him and get him to wave to them.
That's just like our Arpi... except he doesn't wave or anything. He just says mean things to you.
GonzoStyle Wrote:I pledge my undying love for Arpi, any retraction of this undying love is to be ignored.
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he is more regular than all of us
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dont help. thanks.
I love him. He's like those happy old people who become known for sitting by the side of a busy street and waving to passing cars. People drive by regularly and beep just to see him and get him to wave to them.
That's just like our Arpi... except he doesn't wave or anything. He just says mean things to you.
GonzoStyle Wrote:I pledge my undying love for Arpi, any retraction of this undying love is to be ignored.
Nominated for," 2005 poster of the year", by 4 out of 6 mods!
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you are draggin my comedic stylings with your sordid disposition. please improve.
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You sure you didn't have one of those I gotta take a shit moments and held it in, then later on forgot about it and was pleasantly surprised later on in the day.
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I took a huge shit this morning, and afterwards I felt like I dropped 10 pounds.
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Gooch Wrote:you are draggin my comedic stylings with your sordid disposition. please improve. I'm glad someone finally had the heart to tell the old fool, I told him to shape up a few times.
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