Home | Search | FAQ
Page
1
2
 Displaying 1-25 of 28 messages in this thread. |
| Posted By | Discussion Topic: What I've learned from watching porn | ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| DreamWeaver | posted on 08-05-2001 @ 7:23 PM |    | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 00  | OK so I got this from an email I recieved but its still funny.... I dont know if this topic has ever been done before but hey, why not...please feel free to add your own.... What I've learned from watching porn....... 1. Women wear high heels to bed. 2. Men are never impotent. 3. When going down on a woman, 10 seconds is more than satisfactory. 4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her. 5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with their muck 6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men. 7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blow job. 8. Women always orgasm when men do. 9. A blow job will always get a woman off a speeding ticket. 10. All women are noisy fucks. 11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background. 12. Those tits are real. 13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt. 14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum. 15. If there are two of them, they "high five" each other (and the girl isn't disgusted). 16. Double penetration makes women smile. 17. Asian men don't exist. 18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth. 19. There is a plot. 20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt. 21. Nurses suck their patients' cocks. 22. Men always pull out. 23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you. 24. Women never have headaches ... or periods. 25. When a woman is sucking cock, it's important for the guy to remind her to "suck it." 26. Assholes are clean. 27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock in there. 29. Men don't have to beg. 30. When standing during a blow job,a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.  can't call that justice when its just a stupid excuse to fight single out and attack the ones who got no defense you call that a new way of thinking i call it regression to ignorance | ||||
| Lt Boogaloo | posted on 08-05-2001 @ 7:31 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Oct. 00 | * Catholic school-girls are among the horniest people around * Sexual harassment is non-existant in the workplace * Calling a woman a "whore" only increases the pleasure she recieves in screwing your brains out. The human eyeball can be served just as you would serve an oyster. -- Random Quote of the week. | ||||
| Lent Black Rock Coalition Do you have a basketball in your car? | posted on 08-05-2001 @ 7:37 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: May. 00 | *Women are in awe at the size of a black guy's dick *Every teen in a porn has their hair in either pigtails or ponytails *Many teens call the person their fucking "mister" *Asian women appear to speak little english and seem intimitdated by any size dick (except for stars like Kobe Tai, et al) *Petite women always seem to whine louder than others  --Lent, the poster formerly known as Rowelentless-- | ||||
| mikeWOW | posted on 08-05-2001 @ 7:40 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Sep. 00 | quote: GREATEST LIST EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "i hate people that dont get it!" | ||||
OA.com's Bodyguard Anger problem? What anger problem? I hate the fucking mud! USA | posted on 08-05-2001 @ 7:41 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | quote: Damn, that's a long time! You women expect everything from us guys, don't ya. ;) quote: I knew I should have been a cop. :) "What are you speaking, German Brian?"
"Brian, what the hell are you talking about?" This message was edited by Flock of Moosen on 8-5-01 @ 7:46 PM | ||||
| darthziggy Isles fan for life | posted on 08-05-2001 @ 7:44 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Aug. 00 | quote: that's my personal fav, but good list entirely. even tho i believe it's been posted before (not bashing you or nuttin, just my opinion)  darthziggy@opieanthony.com I'm off to Franklin Pierce College in September. Go Ravens! LET'S GO ISLANDERS NyQuil: Big N, little y, BIG FUCKING Q! | ||||
| The Mrs. | posted on 08-05-2001 @ 7:51 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Feb. 01 | I love watching porn...And what happens after watching porn! :-) Filzy's significant other and graduate. | ||||
| BaLLooN NoT | posted on 08-05-2001 @ 8:15 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | quote: looks like i have been wasting my time if 10 seconds is enough time  SIG PIC CREATED BY Jolene78 E-Mail Me METS will go ALL THE WAY THIS YEAR !!!!!!!!!!! (ok maybe not this year but i aint chainging this) Yankees & the Braves SUCK !!!!!!!! Resident Strip Club Pimp Very Proud Member of the OA.com Stalker Society | ||||
| o&aswallow | posted on 08-05-2001 @ 8:22 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | quote: Ah Heaven!!! Porn is great. Video enternainment is meant to be an escape from reality. Porn is about the furthest thing you will find from reality.  o&aswallow Recognized His Destiny Early. Too Many Hotties, Not Enough Horny Goat Weed Now accepting foster children applications. Cash only, no checks. Email at onaswallow@opieanthony.com Frat Guy has rented one of the foster bedrooms as of 7/21. Yes ladies, another college boy is in town for you to ravage. It at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking till you do suck seed. - Curly Howard. Pennsylvania resident, but original NYC listener. | ||||
I Need An Old Priest And A Young Priest | posted on 08-05-2001 @ 9:03 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | You mean porn is not like real life? Making that mental note. opieanthony.com; Like a retarded yoyo, you will keep coming back. | ||||
| o&aswallow | posted on 08-05-2001 @ 9:06 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | (psssst Joey, scratch that note. I just said that so those that don't have sex lives like in the porn flicks, don't feel like they are loosers or something. You know, PC and all. Just don't tell anybody) o&aswallow Recognized His Destiny Early. Too Many Hotties, Not Enough Horny Goat Weed Now accepting foster children applications. Cash only, no checks. Email at onaswallow@opieanthony.com Frat Guy has rented one of the foster bedrooms as of 7/21. Yes ladies, another college boy is in town for you to ravage. It at first you don't succeed, keep on sucking till you do suck seed. - Curly Howard. Pennsylvania resident, but original NYC listener. | ||||
| JJ G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S. Soldier of Fortune Spec Ops Division | posted on 08-05-2001 @ 9:06 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Feb. 01 | quote: What about what happens during porn? lol thats the best. lol oh and this list is so true, but when i saw it i thought someone from chat mighta started it cuz we were talkin about somthing like this earlier. lol  We're all just monkeys!! i have adopted kindredbabe I have 1 slot open for anyone that wants to be adoptedE-Mail Me and i will get to back to u A.S.A.P, or AIM ople696 | ||||
| IAmMighty | posted on 08-05-2001 @ 9:31 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Sep. 00 | quote: Throwing out the tissues??? :-) j/k  "Red Rocket! Red Rocket!" | ||||
| Tony Metropolis | posted on 08-05-2001 @ 9:34 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Feb. 01 | Number 17 is one of the funniest, yet truest, things I've ever read. "I am a sophisticated sex robot sent back in time to change the future for one lucky lady." - The Shermanator | ||||
| Brokenjaw Always will bow down to the power of the Faceman!!!! | posted on 08-05-2001 @ 9:45 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Nov. 00 | quote: Well Yeah!!  Telling people their desire Satan's sitting there, he's smiling Watches those flames get higher and higher Oh no, no, please God help me! | ||||
| adolescentmasturbator | posted on 08-05-2001 @ 9:50 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | 31. A guy won't mind rubbing his junk all over a chick's face that has just been covered in another man's juice. Resident Board Socialist Email me here IM me at stickysituation2 or pinkorag Webmaster of the Undergound Unofficial I Hate WhackBagKid Message Board I currently have brought into the International | ||||
| GonzoStyle | posted on 08-05-2001 @ 10:18 PM | | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Jan. 70 | to some guys walking in on couples having sex in a porno and not getting laid or as much as a handjob is amusing to some unlucky guy.  If I could capture the rage of today's youth and bottle it Crush the glass from my bare hands and swallow it Then spit it back in the faces of you racists and hypocrites who think the same shit but don't say shit You Liberace's, Versace's, and you nazis Watch me, cause you thinkin you got me in this hot seat You motherfuckers wanna JUDGE me cause you're NOT me She-Mail Me Here | ||||
| DevonGetTheTable | posted on 08-05-2001 @ 10:37 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: May. 01 | quote: This is only true when the guy has no fucking clue how to do it right! E.C.W.! E.C.W.! E.C.W.! E.C.W.!  GRADUATE OF THE SLACKJAW SCHOOL OF NEWBIE KNOWLEDGE! | ||||
| SeeYouNextTuesday G.O.O.F.B.A.H.G.S. Elite Ninja Gaiden Infiltration Unit | posted on 08-05-2001 @ 11:08 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Feb. 01 | ::Walks in, nods head and smiles. Gently shakes head and leaves::
| ||||
| Brokenjaw Always will bow down to the power of the Faceman!!!! | posted on 08-05-2001 @ 11:17 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Nov. 00 | quote: HAHHAAHAHAH LMMFHYBOBHDNGLOAHJITPHWI!!1  Telling people their desire Satan's sitting there, he's smiling Watches those flames get higher and higher Oh no, no, please God help me! | ||||
OA.com's Bodyguard Anger problem? What anger problem? I hate the fucking mud! USA | posted on 08-05-2001 @ 11:35 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Jan. 01 | quote: Great reference GS! :) You think it's possible to get one of those sauce stained shirts he wears on the cover through EBay? ;) "What are you speaking, German Brian?"
"Brian, what the hell are you talking about?" | ||||
| Ants in My Pants Billy Prettiest Butterfly in the garden All Blow job poems ©Fez 2002-2003. I'm obsessed with Alkey's penis. | posted on 08-06-2001 @ 1:22 AM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Apr. 01 | quote:Keith, comment?  | ||||
| vlad the impaler | posted on 08-06-2001 @ 2:37 PM | | |||
| Hanger-On Registered: Nov. 00 | Number 11 is the best!! The ghost of Mike Bloomfield rules. Put jelly on your shoulder lie down on the pulpit. Between thought and expression let us now kiss the culprit | ||||
| McBourbon | posted on 08-06-2001 @ 2:44 PM | | |||
| Psychopath Registered: Jul. 01 | Here's my addition: Women think man juice is a great hand and/or body lotion since they always rub a little of it in after it's been sprayed all over them.  "Nobody likes you. Everybody hates you. You're gonna lose. Smile, you fuck." I'm still more bitter. | ||||
| BARRY MANILOW | posted on 08-06-2001 @ 2:49 PM | | |||
| O&A Board Regular Registered: Oct. 00 | 32. - All women are just one question away from going lesbian. | ||||
| Page
1
2
Displaying 1-25 of 28 messages in this thread. |