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Posted ByDiscussion Topic: How do you wipe?
hammersavage
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 11:14 AM      
Psychopath
Registered: Oct. 00
Can some of you please help me settle a problem with my friend?

This crazy son of a bitch wipes standing up and thinks its normal. He says he has asked other people and they claim to do it as well.

I wipe sitting down which I think is the normal way to do things. My problem is that I will only take the handicap stall.

What do you do when dropping a duece?



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CarsonOGin
Froy seems ok, Faceman is fair. But Slash is a cunt, FTL is a total soccer mom, JoeyBigArms thinks he's a fucking message board god.		posted on 04-12-2002 @ 11:18 AM      
Psychopath
Registered: Dec. 01
Guys that stand are fags. I could never bring myself to stand up and bend over to wipe. It's like asking to get butt pummeled.

A little lean to the side and you are a ok.

Now I once had a friend ask me if I dipped after I took a dump. I said "What the fuck does that mean?"

He says, " you know, you dip the paper in the water so you can clean your ass better."

Horrified, I told him he was a disgusting bastard and walked away.





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This message was edited by CarsonOGin on 4-12-02 @ 11:21 AM
scmods
Break into my dad's pc and go to the porno directory. It takes a lot to freak me out, and his archive can do it. Time & Time Again.
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 11:20 AM      
Psychopath
Registered: Feb. 01
Standing up? That's bizarre!

Sitting down, of course.



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hammersavage
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 11:22 AM      
Psychopath
Registered: Oct. 00
quote:
Standing up? That's bizarre!


That's what I said but he claims that alot of people do it.

Carson, you friend is sick.



www.destinsdream.com

Salad Tosser Left Fielder, Center Fielder, and First Baseman
**Official Painter of Billboards**
"Opie and Anthony: The thinking mans Beavis and Butthead" -Playboy
Joey BigArms
I Need An Old Priest And A Young Priest		posted on 04-12-2002 @ 11:30 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Oct. 00
I don’t wipe.


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barch97
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WOW Forum Ambassador		posted on 04-12-2002 @ 11:34 AM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Jul. 00
It depends on who's bathroom I'm using. If it's someone I don't like... I like to stand up and wipe my ass on the wall, door knob, curtains, towels, vanity, etc.

But, at home... it depends more on the consistancy of the poop and how intense the ass cleaning becomes. Sometimes you gotta get up to get it all.



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The more things change...
The more they stay the same.
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Split Personality #1
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 11:35 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Dec. 00
sitting down...i don't know how you could wipe standing up,without bending over and getting a head rush. just seems like to much damn work to stand up



First member of the JWO!!!
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HYBRID THINKS I'M A GENIUS		posted on 04-12-2002 @ 11:41 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jul. 00
The real question is: fold or crumple the paper? Unless I'm in some kind of hurry, I always fold. Whenever I crumple I always end up with shit all over my hands.
I grab about 3 or 4 perforations, fold it into 3 layers, wipe, then fold in half, wipe again, then fold that in half, and wipe again. Then repeat until all is well.
Don't you hate when it's a real messy dump and you end up having to wipe your back?
Oh, and I usually wipe while laying on my stomach.




I think my mask of sanity              is about to slip


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1. 94 Wins and NL East Title by the Mets this year 2. Hate the Braves with a passion
3. All 5 Starters have winning records this year 4. Mets win World Series


Syndrummer
LOOK!! All my "N"s are capitalized!!!		posted on 04-12-2002 @ 11:50 AM      
Psychopath
Registered: Mar. 02
Wouldn't standing up just make more of a mess?

katylina
KIDNAPPER
Spill 'em if you got 'em
JBA Thinks I Am A Goddess! 		posted on 04-12-2002 @ 11:56 AM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Feb. 02
Well, if you think that is bad, then ponder this: We have to teach our students HOW to wipe with toilet paper and WHEN to wipe. Let's just say we run these programs in the bathroom using chocolate pudding. One mom actually asked us once, "Does that mean we can't use chocolate pudding as a reinforcer now?" Hmmm- what do you think? Imagine what it is like to teach the girls about menstruation.


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Scrappleking
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 12:03 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Aug. 01
sometimes, if and only if I'm in the comfort of my home base, and if things are really bad, I like to hop in the shower. Even if I know I'm clean, I just feel dirty. Other times, I have to break up the work and insert an extra flush in there. The very rare case is when everything comes out quick and somewhat dry, and there is no evidence on the paper, I always double and triple check in those rare, rare cases.

"Somebody took my phone number and called Afghanistan. Afghanistan! I've never talked to anyone in Afghanistan, I don't know nobody in Afghanistan, and even if did know anyone, I wouldn't talk to that Afghan ass for three hours! I won't talk to my daddy for three hours."
katylina
KIDNAPPER
Spill 'em if you got 'em
JBA Thinks I Am A Goddess! 		posted on 04-12-2002 @ 12:07 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Feb. 02
Scrapple- the stuff that wasn't put into spam... I never even heard of the stuff until a year ago on a trip to PA. Go figure... Anyway, why don't we just buy you a bidet?


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Colonel Will Bill
O&A's only Dallas listener		posted on 04-12-2002 @ 12:08 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Jan. 01
we had this debate on my soccer team last year and it actually turned out that most of the people from the north were sitters and most of the people from the south were standers. I'm a stander, you don't have to bend over your arms are long enough to reach unless you're fat and have cheesy poof arms. Oh i do sit if it's a really nasty one cause then it would create a nasty mess if you didn't.

[EDIT]oh yeah, and you have to wipe front to back, anyone who does it the other way is disgusting, especially if your a chick....


Call me Captain Dildo


This message was edited by Colonel Will Bill on 4-12-02 @ 12:22 PM
The Painter
1/2 a bottle of Jack Daniels... it's a cure-all		posted on 04-12-2002 @ 12:16 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Sep. 00
Stand up, put your foot on the sink, and wipe away. ;)

Actually, I just let the dog lick it clean :-p


I have walked through many lives
Some of them my own
And I am not who I was
Though some principle of being abides
From which I struggle not to stray

scmods
Break into my dad's pc and go to the porno directory. It takes a lot to freak me out, and his archive can do it. Time & Time Again.
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 12:37 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Feb. 01
I actually never even thought to stand and do this. Thanks for the eye-opening topic. Very thought provoking. I still feel it's bizarre.

Shower afterwards - always more gooder! What a fresh, invigorating feeling to enjoy a good movement and shower. I'm a new man after such an episode.



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goatweed
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My friends call me Weed 		posted on 04-12-2002 @ 12:43 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jan. 01
Sitting is definitely the way to go. There are times when standing might come into play, but it's a very rare occurrence. Also, a shower would be part of the plan depending on how nasty of a session it was and if I were obviously home to take one in the first place.


The line between fantasy and reality is the same as that between sanity and insanity...which side of the line are you on?


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jewdown
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 12:44 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jan. 01
Do you look at the TP after you wipe?




"We don't take kindly to not takin' kindly around here."
scmods
Break into my dad's pc and go to the porno directory. It takes a lot to freak me out, and his archive can do it. Time & Time Again.
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 12:49 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Feb. 01
Look at the TP and wipe till it bleeds. That's when you know you were successful!



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SLASH
Pompous, Arrogant, Enigmatic, Bitter, Quirky, Misanthrope with a Weird Sense of Humor and an Iron Clad Memory while flooding the board with my Stream of Consciousness UFC
STRIKE 3
(I'm a dick and I like to ruin people's plans) 		posted on 04-12-2002 @ 1:08 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Aug. 00
Why waste paper when you can have your undies wipe you all day long?



AIM: SmarterChild

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I think it all started with the Declaration of Independence -- the idea that we had the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. That pursuit is what took America from the revolution to the computer age in 200 years. But the progress has come at a price. The obvious being the people that were exploited to make it possible; the not so obvious being us, the first group of people that were given no obvious frontiers to conquer. We hear stories that about the good old days that don't seem to apply anymore. It's a generation gap that leaves us without role models. But the bright side is that without role models, there are no roles. Maybe that's what the 60s were all about -- getting rid of the roles. But what do we replace them with? Without any guidance, what do we replace them with? Without any guidance, the choices become overwhelming. Sometimes it just makes everything feel hopeless. So we destroy our bodies in the search of an ideal. Try to salvage relationships that don't work. We feel we must do something, instead of doing something that we feel. It is the prison of self-imposed momentum, and the sad part is that we get used to it. It reminds me of a song I heard the other day. It's called "The Going Nowhere Fast." But the people I have met here have shown me another side of Nowhere. They've pointed out the beautiful irony that stagnation makes it easy to stop and smell the roses, if we just let it. What would we be if we had nothing to rebel against? Well we could finally be ourselves, the first group of people who stopped looking for the answers long enough to appreciate the questions. And all we have to do is to make our own Declaration of Independence. We can embrace the right to life and liberty by simply realizing that happiness exists -- not to pursue, but to accept. After that the only challenge would be to make sure with the rest of our lives that we weren't just another fad. I don't know, it's an idea. What do you think?



barch97
BBTB
The barch gots lots a dick
Theoretically, if I were to smack you in the face with my penis, it would leave a bruise in the shape of a mushroom.
I kind of enjoy my anonymity on the board
WOW Forum Ambassador		posted on 04-12-2002 @ 1:17 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Jul. 00
quote:
Do you look at the TP after you wipe?
How do blind people know when they are done?



Long Live the "Syndication Underground"
The more things change...
The more they stay the same.
Colonel Will Bill
O&A's only Dallas listener		posted on 04-12-2002 @ 1:18 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Jan. 01
do you wipe after laying a chili dog?


Call me Captain Dildo
silera
Sexiest flower in the garden
Garden my ass! That's a bush!

I Like to suck dick
I suck it all day long
I like to suck dick
Nothing like a great big wong.
I like to suck dick
I'll do it till the day I croak
Just don't ask me to swallow.
Cause I'll probably choke
fag-hag
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JYD-4-LIFE's HBIC now i suck a mod's dick too!		posted on 04-12-2002 @ 1:22 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Feb. 02
quote:
How do blind people know when they are done?


They sniff.



Now, a question of etiquette:
as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch?
-Fight Club
scmods
Break into my dad's pc and go to the porno directory. It takes a lot to freak me out, and his archive can do it. Time & Time Again.
posted on 04-12-2002 @ 1:36 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Feb. 01
Blind people don't shit, silly!



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PlasticMan
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Dhalsim-Style Hand to Hand Specialist		posted on 04-12-2002 @ 1:38 PM      
Psychopath
Registered: Mar. 02
I read an interview in Maxim a couple of months ago with Jack Black. In it he was talking about the ideal "no wipe" shit. I had one of those the other day. Went, wiped (sitting and leaning), checked, grabbed some more TP and wiped and checked again just to be sure. Actually ended up using more paper than usual because I was unsure.

..
It wasn't lies, it was just...bullshit.
Cunt-Twat
No real… its cool to wear childrens Band-Aids.
I'm not a Cockblocker, I'm a COCKSUCKER!		posted on 04-12-2002 @ 1:43 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jan. 01
wow, that's so weird, i was thinking starting the same thread! but i was wondering more front to back or back to front.
as for satnding, that's not normal, by 4 year old neice stands to wipe cuz other wise she'll fall in the bowl!



:) WHO SAID I DON'T LOVE THE SLACKJAW?!? :)

LETS GO METS, 2002!!


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Displaying 1-25 of 68 messages in this thread.