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10 Products Only Douchebags Buy
#1
I'm listening to the podcast now and I have to say I'm excited to hear the guys go over the list. I found that list yesterday and sent the link to them. It's pretty awesome to know that something I found was used for a segment.

I almost feel useful. (Don't burst my fragile bubble.)
I am the irrepressible dark horse.
Film it. Listen to it. Live it. Love it.

All the best,
The Mayor of Awesometown
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#2
Any of us dudes guilty of having/using any of them? I'm in the clear (Despite my member name)

They forgot to add Pink Mens Shirts.
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#3
Hey deuchebag, I've seen the picture in your avatar a couple places before, what the hell is that?
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#4
It's a puppet named Joshua by a photographer who does wierd pictures. The photographer is Charlie White, and this is from the series "Understanding Joshua" ~~Weird stuff
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#5
deuchebag Wrote:Any of us dudes guilty of having/using any of them?

i use the body spray. whichever is on sale, but if you call one douchey, they all are.
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#6
dingdongyo Wrote:
deuchebag Wrote:Any of us dudes guilty of having/using any of them?

i use the body spray. whichever is on sale, but if you call one douchey, they all are.

Well... crap. I am guilty then. I've never expected to get showered with women or anything when using it.
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#7
where is the list online? I have the podcast but would rather see the list
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#8
http://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/03/the_...gs_buy.php
Everyday you reinvent yourself into a bigger cock-shite than ever. It's incredible. I don't know how you do it. I admire you.

I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.
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#9
Happy to say that I only have the Axe body spray and haven't used it in over a year. Am I a douche?
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#10
Not so much... it's wearing off
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#11
Happy to say that I don't qualify as a douche, at least not by those standards!
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#12
All right!! I may be a dork, but at least I'm not a douche.
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#13
I didn't catch the second half of this list, but I was saying to myself "bluetooth headsets" over and over again in my car while listening to the first half. Glad to see it made #2, although I would argue it should be #1.

I guess I don't mind when I see a guy using a bluetooth headset when his hands are full or if he's driving or something. It's the assrods that use it when both hands are completely free that piss me off. Go to any airport to witness this behavior. These people only display this behavior when amongst large groups, so as to appear as important as humanly possible.

I was recently scrambling through the Minneapolis airport trying to find my gate. I had very little time between flights, and was operating on almost no sleep. I discovered I needed to hop a tram to get to the proper concourse, so I waited for one to arrive. While waiting, I couldn't help but notice this douchewad in a suit adopting the perfect "power pose" (arms crossed, feet shoulder width apart, eyes focused intently on the ground in front of him) nearly screaming into his bluedouche headset. Then I noticed an older gentleman similarly dressed standing right next to him, intent on what this guy was saying. Then I noticed the younger guy was "dressing down" a subordinate in front of his superior as loudly as possible, using as many corporate-speak words as he could. I instantly wanted to assault him. I focking hate ass-kissery of any sort, but when it's being carried out via bluedouche, I have to restrain myself.
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#14
I think the ultimate douche bag product would be the Hummer.
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#15
Fistor Wrote:I didn't catch the second half of this list, but I was saying to myself "bluetooth headsets" over and over again in my car while listening to the first half. Glad to see it made #2, although I would argue it should be #1.

QFT. I love bluetooth wearing douche at a sporting event.

If I have to bring my phone/bluetooth anywhere outside of my car I will wrap the ear piece around the button of my shirt in case I do need to use it.
Go fuck yourself. Hard.
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#16
fullmetal Wrote:I think the ultimate douche bag product would be the Hummer.

Newer Hummers yes, real Hummers, no
Humans are not rational beings, they are rationalizing
Practice safe sex, do it in a Volvo ___________ "Shut up", he explained.
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#17
I was sorry to hear that tennis visors, especially worn upside down/backward were not on the list.


And does anyone remember when even having a cellphone was douchey?
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#18
This list was pretty disappointing. It could have been a lot better.

11. Any Lacoste polo-type shirt that is simply one solid color with the little gator. (double the douchery if the shirt is pink)
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#19
xthexlanternx Wrote:This list was pretty disappointing. It could have been a lot better.

11. Any Lacoste polo-type shirt that is simply one solid color with the little gator. (double the douchery if the shirt is pink)




thats kinda douchy that you know what they are called...
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#20
Funny that my brother keeps like seven bottles of axe spray and body wash in my parents house at all times.
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#21
Admin Wrote:
Fistor Wrote:I didn't catch the second half of this list, but I was saying to myself "bluetooth headsets" over and over again in my car while listening to the first half. Glad to see it made #2, although I would argue it should be #1.

QFT. I love bluetooth wearing douche at a sporting event.

If I have to bring my phone/bluetooth anywhere outside of my car I will wrap the ear piece around the button of my shirt in case I do need to use it.

Those douchebags are called "bluetools".
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#22
xthexlanternx Wrote:This list was pretty disappointing. It could have been a lot better.

11. Any Lacoste polo-type shirt that is simply one solid color with the little gator. (double the douchery if the shirt is pink)

I'm at work and I'm wearing khakis and a solid green polo, apparently I'm a douche. Who knew.

I would like to throw in people that buy those giant stickers to go on their car of what make the car is. Like so:
[Image: car-lab-honda.jpg]
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#23
don't forget the " get r done", "fear this" or anything in Spanish...
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#24
jus' P Wrote:anything in Spanish...


My brother in law last name Thompson drives a dodge neon, purple, with Hannah Montana stickers smacked all over it.

Anyway he had in old english letters 'Thompsonez' put across his rear window.
"Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass!"
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#25
Howie Feltersnatch Wrote:
jus' P Wrote:anything in Spanish...


My brother in law last name Thompson drives a dodge neon, purple, with Hannah Montana stickers smacked all over it.

Anyway he had in old english letters 'Thompsonez' put across his rear window.

Although, that's funny...I just can't drive with anything written on my car. I joked about getting "Munstang" for a personalized plate...But couldn't do it. ( it's a play on my car and last name)
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#26
jus' P Wrote:
Howie Feltersnatch Wrote:My brother in law last name Thompson drives a dodge neon, purple, with Hannah Montana stickers smacked all over it.

Anyway he had in old english letters 'Thompsonez' put across his rear window.

Although, that's funny...I just can't drive with anything written on my car. I joked about getting "Munstang" for a personalized plate...But couldn't do it. ( it's a play on my car and last name)

YOUR LAST NAME IS TANG?

You should be the intern of poon.....!
"Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass!"
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#27
I thought about a personalized plate for my truck, like my FD number or soemthing when i get the fire department plate....

probably won't though
"Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass!"
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#28
Howie Feltersnatch Wrote:
jus' P Wrote:Although, that's funny...I just can't drive with anything written on my car. I joked about getting "Munstang" for a personalized plate...But couldn't do it. ( it's a play on my car and last name)

YOUR LAST NAME IS TANG?

You should be the intern of poon.....!

Dude...you outed me! No, I/we have a mustang and our last name begins with MUN....

(I know it's stupid, that's why I didn't follow through)
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#29
I used to drive a gold 1984 Lincoln Town Car and I bought a vanity plate that read "HOOPDE".

Not long after I received the plate I was doing some work at the state prison in Adrian and actually met the guy who made my plate.

Amused I said "how many guys get to meet the guy who made their license plate?".

He quickly replied "how many want to?".
Go fuck yourself. Hard.
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#30
jus' P Wrote:
Howie Feltersnatch Wrote:YOUR LAST NAME IS TANG?

You should be the intern of poon.....!

Dude...you outed me! No, I/we have a mustang and our last name begins with MUN....

(I know it's stupid, that's why I didn't follow through)


Damn, you coulda been something like....


Pappy Tang or...

something more whitty...

I have a hole in my hand, what do you want?
"Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass!"
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#31
Admin Wrote:I used to drive a gold 1984 Lincoln Town Car and I bought a vanity plate that read "HOOPDE".

Not long after I received the plate I was doing some work at the state prison in Adrian and actually met the guy who made my plate.

Amused I said "how many guys get to meet the guy who made their license plate?".

He quickly replied "how many want to?".

True spit take on reading this post!
Hey doc, do you know the address of that place?
Oh, you know, I do know the address. It's at the corner of go fuck yourself and buy a map!
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#32
jus' P Wrote:
Howie Feltersnatch Wrote:My brother in law last name Thompson drives a dodge neon, purple, with Hannah Montana stickers smacked all over it.

Anyway he had in old english letters 'Thompsonez' put across his rear window.

Although, that's funny...I just can't drive with anything written on my car. I joked about getting "Munstang" for a personalized plate...But couldn't do it. ( it's a play on my car and last name)

I've got a friend named Dustin who drove a Mustang for a while, and we tried and tried to convince him to get one of those airbrushed front license plates that said Dustang.... he chose not to oblige.... I bet he's glad he didn't do it.
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#33
seriously what is wrong with a pink shirt
pants on the ground! pants on the ground!
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#34
plumpenut Wrote:seriously what is wrong with a pink shirt

it's queer.
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#35
plumpenut Wrote:seriously what is wrong with a pink shirt

If you have to ask, you don't deserve to know.
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