Letter to your 17 year old self

[Allyson]

Let's hear them.

I'm going to write a brief letter to my 14 year old self, since I was pretty ok at 17.

Dear 14 year old Allyson,

• You are 14. Act it. Close your legs and stop making out with every boy you meet.
  Stop wearing make up because it looks stupid on a child.
  And put on some god damn clothes you skank. Your pants are too tight and although it gives the boys ARBs, it will also give you yeast infections (and no one likes cameltoe).
  You're not ghetto so lose the big hoop earrings and limit yourself to one silver necklace.
  Don't pluck your eyebrows so tiny that you have to use eyeliner to make them look normal again.
  Stop giving everyone such an attitude. No one likes a bitch and you have no right to treat people the way you do. Just because prepubescent boys think you're hot doesn't mean people like you, so try being a little nicer.
  And make your freaking lay-ups, you look like an idiot when you miss.

That is all for now,

Your older and wiser self

[Rock Monster]

Dear 17 year old Rock Monster,

First of all, don't be confused. You will be known on a message board as Rock Monster later in life. Listen to the Free Beer and Hot Wings show when it comes to GR.

Second, break up with that bitch you are with. Sure, sex is great, but she is a waste of time.

That is all.... get laid and have fun!

[burnking]

Dear 17 year old Burnking,

I'm going to start off by saying that you need to stop being such a wuss. No one likes the shy guy that keeps to himself and ends up coming off as creepy. Life will be a lot easier and more fun if you would break out of your shell now instead of waiting until college. Secondly, stop hounding girls for the pity vote. You may think that it's a good thing that you're getting attention, but it's not. You're sad and annoying so cut it out. Despite all this, you are going to get a girlfriend very soon. She's going to be hot and awesome (I'm not lying, I swear) so you do everything you want with/to her for the rest of HS. However, once HS is over, don't pretend it's going to last, break up with her. Once you get to college it's going to cause heartache and a lot of missed opportunities.

Speaking of girls, what say you lift a weight every once in awhile and fix that prepubescent girl body of yours. Not only will you feel better about yourself in general, it will help immensily with basketball. Also, play a lot more pick-up basketball, it not enough to just play organized ball year round. You'll improve your game a lot and will definitely have an opportunity to play D1.

Lastly, when you get to college, don't hook up with a chick named Amanda. I don't care how attractive she is, she a horrific kisser and she's crazy in the head and you don't want to deal with that.

Sincerely,
The upgraded version of you.

[Mark the Valet]

Dear 17 year old Mark,

Sup. I'm writing this to you from the FUTURE, and as your friend I'd like to let you in on a few secrets that will help you sidestep some of the retarded things that you do that make your life way more difficult than it should be.

First off, stop being such an overly nice asshole. It's one thing to be a nice guy but jesus, man...you're a little TOO nice and trust me, it will burn you in the long run from people taking advantage of you. Plus, you may think that girls want a nice guy, but has it gotten you anywhere thus far? Exactly. Don't be afraid to say "no" to things once in awhile. You have this stupid idea that you can make everyone happy. This is not possible and you're only hurting yourself by doing so.
Secondly, you know all of those popular kids that act snooty and stuck up? They actually figure out that they're retarded and start acting cool in your last year of high school, so become their friends, go to some parties and get drunk already! Contrary to what your teachers have taught you, alcohol does not, in fact, ruin your life and kill you immediately if you drink it. It's awesome and it makes you feel great, so do it already! You'll bang more chicks that way. Everyone wins!

Also, start working out. Immediately. Girls do not find guys that weigh 119 pounds to be attractive. In fact, that time that you took your shirt off at track practice probably frightened more girls than it impressed. YOU DO NOT LOOK GOOD.
Working out will also help you in your future plans to join the military. You'll do just fine in bootcamp, but bulking up a bit will help you from getting singled out by your insane drill instructors! Speaking of the military, when you get to Japan, don't wait a MONTH to venture off base and explore. Again, scare tactics work way too well with you and the sooner you figure out that you're not as stupid as a vast majority of people, the more fun you will have as a result.
Aviod a girl named Sarah Hickey at all costs. She will lead you on for months to take advantage of you because she is terrible with money and you are willing to take her out to dinner. She does not like you, and hanging out with her will eventually lead you to getting punched in the face by a massive dude for something that you didn't do.

So, in conclusion, you're a goofy looking asshole but that's still true to this day.

Your friend,

24 year old Mark

[krystal]

Dear 17-year-old me:

Despite the slow starts in h.s., you are suprisingly cool this year. You're finally getting over your lack of physical attributes and going out a lot, so here a few pointers for the (near) future:

Ditch Becca. The bitch'll only turn on you after freshmen year. There is no point allowing her to sit at our lunch table anymore. Make her make new friends, because yours like you better, anyway.

Atleast pretend to like some of your fellow students more than you like the teachers. One of your best friends is already in college, one will soon hate you, and you will lose touch with all of the rest. You do a great job alienating people and you need to stop it or you'll only get worse.

Drop the 20 pounds you will gain through the year NOW. The Freshman 15 will soon be kicking your ass.

Get a (paying) job. Despite the good GPA, the extracurriculars, the volunteering, and the job at Dad's shop, scholarship committees will not like you. It is either that, or it is a conspiracy and Ms. Johnson is only turning in the applications from her relatives to get sholarships.

You are going to skip prom again this year (but you're going out with Ben instead, so it's worth it). I advise you do the same with graduation. You'll only be bored as shit and you'll miss your own congratulatory lobster dinner.

Make Mom and Dad pick Billy up from work and bring him home the weekend after his birthday. Trust me, it will save a lot of heartache.

Stop giving Bonnie birth control lectures. She'll only wind up pregnant in high school anyway.

See Chad. He'll be the only person you date for a long time.

And for the love of god, take some inititative in life. Stop sitting and waiting for things to happen. They won't. You're well on your way to becoming the maiden aunt, the crazy cat-lady, or a suicide risk and it's pathetic.

Love always,

The 24 year-old, (hopefully) better and wiser you.

And don't be such a loser.

[potthole]

Dear 17 Year Old Potthole,

Hi, it's me, your future self. I want to take this chance to give you a few pointers that should help you out over the next few years.

First-- within a year you're going to be in the market for a new car, as your little brother will be getting his liscense, and thus inheriting the POS you drive now. That wierd guy you work with, John, will offer you his convertable with the kickin' sound system. It's a nice car, for sure, but don't waste your money on it-- you don't know it now, but Lebaron's don't have the best track record when it comes to transmissions.

Second-- don't bother dating that friend of Jeff's girlfriend. She's slightly nuts, and it'll keep you from opening up a whole can of worms when it comes to a future relationship. Oh yeah, this gross bitch also will think it's funny one day to come up and fart on you while you're watching TV, so save yourself now.

Third-- know how you've always sort of enjoyed photography? Screw the video classes you're signed up for next year. Drop those and sign up for photography. Save up some money from your crappy job (yes, it seems fun now, but give it a year or two), and invest in some nice starter camera equipment.

Finally-- don't believe what you've been told thus far about alcohol. Drinking a beer now and then won't be the end of you. You'll be going to Germany in a year, and don't be afraid to try some beer. Yes, you'll have a little bit, but for goodness sakes, you're going to be taking a tour of a brewery, where you are offered up to four freebies. Drink them.

[dingdongyo]

there's no way i can fix myself unless i start way earlier...

hey 8 year old me,

you're broken, and you will stay that way unless you make changes now. in fact, everything you don't fix now will just get worse when you grow up. follow my directions and we just might save each other:
do something besides play video games with every second of your free time. this will become a habit for critical years and make you a fat stupid shut in, a state you will remain in until senior year of high school. stop being deathly afraid of talking to people.
stop picking your nose and eating it with your other hand over your face. nobody buys the fake "i'm going to sneeze...oh, i lost it" move, although that was somewhat clever. instead, you just look weird and disgusting, which are both true, unless you cut it out. now.
stop waiting to do huge school projects until the night before and crying. mom will finish it for you because she feels bad and enables. when your biggest brother picks on you, he's just trying to make up for that. go to school with nothing and take the punishment you deserve. you'll realize it's not the end of the world. be less stupid and do your projects sooner instead of playing megaman.
also, when you move to the apartment and lose your bunk bed, sleep in your own bed. you don't need someone else in the room with you just to sleep, you'll be fine.
you'll have a couple friends, in spite of yourself. when they agree to play swords in your basement, that's called LARPing. it's cute now, and you'll quit at a respectable age. just don't miss it as much. and when those friends move away, go say goodbye. you'll be scared and you won't know why and resort to hiding like you are used to, but it will hurt their feelings and you will regret it if you don't.
stop feeling like you have to hide the fact that you have an autistic brother. i think it will lead to a bad habit of separating every part of your life from each other, which way harder and more damaging than it's worth. you don't have to do that, and you will feel better if you never start.

by the time you turn 11-12ish, you will realize how stupid you've been acting and become thoroughly embarrassed. you'll also hate your own stink, moobs, and body hair. all of this will make you want to shut everyone out even more, and that is the worst possible thing you can do. whatever you haven't caught and fixed before, do it now, and stop being so mortified about it. everyone does stupid things as a kid. so what if you did more? get over it. be more active, stop eating so much junk, make friends, and wear deodorant immediately.
start talking to girls. now. whoever will listen to you. get close with one of them. enough to start experimenting with. there are plenty in school and where you live that will give you the time of day. if you don't start now, you will just keep feeling less and less confident and it will get harder and harder to start, and the closest you will ever get to making out with someone is accidentally smacking faces with denise while playing in your living room. and learn to friggin dance. girls like that. this is your last chance to not end up a 300 lb mess with zero self-worth and no spine at 16. you will fix it before college, but not before damage is done that you can't seem to reverse.

this will hopefully stop your little problems from becoming bigger ones. but there are still key moments to watch out for:

stop at that last red light before turning right on the way back from your driving test. it's the only thing you failed on, and you will end up taking 3 more tries because it will get into your head.
a hot girl named nicole will hit on you at a work christmas party, and ask to go to a hockey game and then a movie. you'll fail miserably at both and she will be pissed for a while, but don't change this. it is better than the alternative of holding a grudge against you for life, which she tends to do. plus, she is too loud and hates hockey. this is not your match. but she will be a good friend.
when you are 22, you will be in a friend's basement where a very attractive girl named mel will be pissed at her husband and single you out. she will make it very clear through groping your body and smacking your ass that her intentions are to bang you. this is only because you are the only single guy there and she wants a revenge screw. this does not matter. you don't have a place to bring her, but she will go with you to get extra chips for the party, and you are to bang her in the car. this will never happen again. do not screw it up by talking her ear off until she's bored because you're too nervous to try anything. otherwise, my ass will remain sore from kicking it daily.
you'll fall for a girl named marie. she is broken too and you'll faceplant hard, but it's probably worth the lesson, so go ahead and do that.
when dustin asks you to try his motorcycle after you get the license, don't go 80 down his back road. it's slippery, you'll lay it down, and you'll end up having to buy him a new bike.

this isn't everything, but fix it and we'll both be a lot happier.

by the way, keep this letter, because there's a lot about screwing and stuff that you won't understand for a few years.

sincerely,
24 year old ryan

[Rock Monster]

To 17 year old sports fan Rock Monster:

Stop cheering for the Lions. It is now 2009, and they just posted the worst season in NFL history. Go make a bet before the season begins, possibly after they go 4-0 in the preseason, that they will not win a game. Seems hard to believe, right? Well, you know how they just ran off the best back in the history of the League? It gets worse. Don't get happy when they hire this Fuck Face named Matt Millen. This is a bad move. Start Cheering for New England. You will not regret it for a long time.

Keep uninterested in baseball. The tigers will get close, but will still not win it. It's also still boring in the future.

You will be proud to be a Pistons fan in the future, except for Darko.

Go to more hockey games. (When you go to a game when you are 21, don't hit on the good looking girls that sit a few rows behind you and your friends. It will save you some embarsement. They are no where near as old as they look..... nope younger than that....... I'll give you a hint, they aren't old enough to drive)Do whatever you can to get money for this. Get season tickets to the new IHL team in GR. They will soon move over to the AHL. Bet on the Red wings. Don't believe the hype for this kid that comes out of Canada, Crosby. Your team has better players.

Don't get too excited about the AFL team in GR.

[Hurley]

Let's hear them.

I'm going to write a brief letter to my 14 year old self, since I was pretty ok at 17.

Dear 14 year old Allyson,

• You are 14. Act it. Close your legs and stop making out with every boy you meet.
  

That is all for now,

Your older and wiser self

Dear 14 Yr Old Hurley,

Dude, move to NJ and enroll in Allyson's school, she's easy. But make sure you get there
before she reads the letter to herself!

[Philly Mike]

I hate myself now, i would not write a good letter to my 17 year old self. I would eff myself up even more than i already am, I would have to opt out of this time travel thing here.

[Mad Dog]

I, like Dingodongyo, Must write my letter to a much younger me. To my six year old self I want to say, do as much as you can to realize your self worth is not determined by your parents, your friends, or your brothers, the kids on the bus. Oh and get a sense of humor while your at it, and quit being so shy. Guys who are too shy get left behind.

You were a happy little kid until you were in Kindergarden, when you found your family's porn stash, and when you were threatened bodily harm by your father if you dared get in a fight at school, followed shortly there after by a bus full of the meanest little fuckers who ever rode a public bus. You will not be half as frustrated with life if you just beat the piss out of them, or at least try, even if they are twice as big as you. go ahead and lash out and gain some respect from those miserable little bastards. Don't just sit back and take it, like I know you do. And stay away from the porn till your old enough. It will give you a very skewed veiw of women.

Those dizzy spells you are having do go away eventually. They will be mostly gone by the time you are thirty. The 42 year old you has done some research and they are not epilipsy. You were poisioned in the womb and by the Gratiot County Mosquito Control Commission by a pesticide called DDT. They spread it all over central Michigan in an effort to kill mosquitos and flys. Because you loose control of you motor functions in short sharp blasts, everyone will look at you like a fucking weirdo. Just hit them. And take your lashes from your Dad like a man. It will be worth it in the end.

Neurological problems are not the only problems DDT will give you. You know that surgery you had to have your left nut lowered? Yup you guessed it, DDT causes that. And years from now you will get real sick and you will have to go to the hospital and they will tell you that you have Diabetes. And all the Doctors will be amazed because your thin and athletic. Come to find out DDT causes that too.

Life has a bunch of rotton shit waiting for you and you need to be tough. You need to not give a shit what other people think of you. And learn to say no to sex, because it makes you seem weak, and ultimately women hate weak minded men. So in effect, saying no will get you a better woman, with better sex. The ultimate paradox. Oh and learn to like bussiness class in Highschool. Maybe you would have been a busness man instead of skilled labor. Your parents have no intentions of sending you to college and will look for any excuse to not help, so your on your own from day one. You need to realize that early so you can deal with it.

[Torque]

Dear 17-year old Torque,

Forget about trying to gain weight, you won't fill out til your 19 and even then, no matter what you do, you'll never go above 140.

Don't ride the horse named "Im So Delightful" on that fateful Thursday afternoon. You'll break your back and you don't have insurance.

Stay over at your friend's house on that rainy night after wing-fest your freshman year of college- you'll total your first and best car ever and it will take 4 fireman to drag you away from the upside down newly painted beaut you just finished restoring 1 month earlier and force you onto a stretcher.

Bite the bullet and go to UPenn instead of Penn State. The money you save in tuition won't mean S when you can't get into their vet school afterwords because you're not rich and you have no "connections". What's another 50K when vet school costs $250000+?

Don't date someone because people say you should give them a chance. You won't like the first 3 out of the 4 total people you've ever dated. On the other hand, have more sex- you're a nymph and it won't even be possible for you to get knocked up for another 2 years!

Make Phil go to the hospital. Don't let him put it off when he says his heart feels weird but it's "just the Starbucks". 24-year-olds are not immortal.

Your life-long ban on eating rice is stupid. You will try some Kow Pad from Touch of Thai for the first time at the age of 25 and become insatiably addicted.

Don't even bother taking up that modeling invite. You'll get offered a $700/hr shoot 2 days after your car accident and you won't have the contract money. Besides, that's not a lifestyle you'd mold into well and you don't do coke.

Dye your hair dark, you've always loved dark hair and you will repeatedly have experiences with job interviews and in general life in which your hair color/appearance effs things up for you.

Don't go for a stroll down the boss's driveway to the back pasture the summer you turn 17. Its not just a thunderstorm- a tornado will go through and a large tree will fall on you you idiot.

Discover Marinol for your insomnia waaaay sooner dude.

Favre will become a Jet. Just warning you now

[Howie Feltersnatch]

17 Year old Howie,

I'll keep this short and sweet. Don't be a stupid shy dick, nobody finds it cute. Make sure you ball up and ask out that hot sophmore, her dad is scary as hell but she puts out and he's pretty cool. You'll end up knocking up that girl (surprise)but, in the long run, it'll be the best thing that happens to you (won't seem like it at first). Join the Fire Department, you'll do it eventually but it's a good time.

Moral of the story:

Don't do a damn thing different, just relax and have fun. OH! and when you are 26 and shoveling snow off your roof...don't step through the skylight...it'll suck and you'll mar up your junk.

[Biff]

Dear 17 year old Biff,

Lay off the pot, cigarettes, and alcohol. In 2 years lay off the meth. Oh, and you're not cool if you smoke pot and/or drink alcohol (especially just to fit in). Later in life you'll discover that you don't much care for any of it anyway. You'll save yourself a lot of money and trouble.

When you get out of the military and you get the opportunity to screw your friend's sister in law: Do it and then stop. Screw her a few times and then walk away. Don't move in with her. Save the money and make a huge bet before the season on the A's winning the World Series. Your friend and his wife will still like you after.

When you're in San Diego and you run across that Paul Stanley Ibanez: buy it. Hide it under the bed for a few years. It'll be worth a lot because Kiss eventually reunites in makeup and people will clamor for that guitar.

Buy a house with at least 3 bedrooms. You'll have kids eventually. It sounds implausible but it's true.

Enjoy a short time with Jamie and Sheri but remember that awesome sex doesn't equal love. You'll know when to walk away.

P.S. You're a good guitarist but you're not going to "make it". Stop investing in "bigger and better". Be satisfied when you have a Les Paul and Mesa Boogie. Enjoy it as a hobby and don't expect more because it will only frustrate you.

[Rock Monster]

Dear 17 year old Biff,

Lay off the pot, cigarettes, and alcohol. In 2 years lay off the meth. Oh, and you're not cool if you smoke pot and/or drink alcohol (especially just to fit in). Later in life you'll discover that you don't much care for any of it anyway. You'll save yourself a lot of money and trouble.

When you get out of the military and you get the opportunity to screw your friend's sister in law: Do it and then stop. Screw her a few times and then walk away. Don't move in with her. Save the money and make a huge bet before the season on the A's winning the World Series. Your friend and his wife will still like you after.

When you're in San Diego and you run across that Paul Stanley Ibanez: buy it. Hide it under the bed for a few years. It'll be worth a lot because Kiss eventually reunites in makeup and people will clamor for that guitar.

Buy a house with at least 3 bedrooms. You'll have kids eventually. It sounds implausible but it's true.

Enjoy a short time with Jamie and Sheri but remember that awesome sex doesn't equal love. You'll know when to walk away.

P.S. You're a good guitarist but you're not going to "make it". Stop investing in "bigger and better". Be satisfied when you have a Les Paul and Mesa Boogie. Enjoy it as a hobby and don't expect more because it will only frustrate you.

How old is Biff?....

KISS = early 70's
Oakland A's = Early 70's (and '89)
Referenced the military before this.... guessing at least 4 years for the military.

Graduated late 60's?

My guess.... 58-60 years old

[Biff]

You're way off.

[Rock Monster]

I knew that sounded too old, even for you.

[Rock Monster]

Dear 17 year old Biff,

In 2 years lay off the meth....

Going with a different angle...

according to wiki...The recreational use of methamphetamine peaked in the 1980s. Shooting right for the middle, puts you at 19 in 1985. That makes you....


42-44..... ish



still old.

[Ashleyme]

I hate myself now, i would not write a good letter to my 17 year old self. I would eff myself up even more than i already am, I would have to opt out of this time travel thing here.

I agree 100% I tried it but I felt after "Dear 17 year old Ashley, What the F is wrong with you, you slutty miserable C?" I felt I should stop haha

[Mark the Valet]

Dear 17-year old Torque,

Don't ride the horse named "Im So Delightful" on that fateful Thursday afternoon. You'll break your back and you don't have insurance.

Stay over at your friend's house on that rainy night after wing-fest your freshman year of college- you'll total your first and best car ever and it will take 4 fireman to drag you away from the upside down newly painted beaut you just finished restoring 1 month earlier and force you onto a stretcher.

Don't go for a stroll down the boss's driveway to the back pasture the summer you turn 17. Its not just a thunderstorm- a tornado will go through and a large tree will fall on you you idiot.

Holy F!
You're indestructible!

[-Jiggy-]

Dear 17 year old Jiggy,
Ever hear of a treadmill fat ass. Hey, hey whatever you do wait until your mid 20's to do something about it thereby wasting a lot of the best years of your life being a pudgy bastard. Other than that, however, follow your instincts on most everything else. Let me save you a lot of time and money though. The first time you go to college is alright. This is where you meet your future wife and even though you do not get a degree it is worth it. Maybe move to Joplin and just hang around the campus if you want to hook up with her.

Now here is the kicker, neglect all of your instincts on the second college venture. You want to be a police officer not an IT guy. Don't go to college for criminal justice though, not yet. You're not mature enough to handle secondary education at this point and this is where you will save a lot of money. Wait until you're about 24-25 then go for it.

Oh and another thing. You don't know what the word EMO means yet but dayyyyum, you're just a friggin ball of teenage angst aren't you. What the hell dude? You have a good life. You've never been physically or mentally abused so what the hell? If it's one thing people like, it's debbie downers bringing them down at every turn. Stop getting pissed at every one else for your own insecurities. You tell people you don't care what they think of you but you know that's a lie. Don't worry you will soon enough be able to practice what you preach...mostly!

Oh, one more thing. Get on the HS football team RIGHT NOW. You may not be into it right now but this is a move you will very soon regret not doing. Besides, you actually like the game a lot more than you think you do.

[tibbs81]

Letter to 17 year old Tibbs,
You've already made the obvious changes that would've held you back so you're all set there. The girl you are now dating will eventually be your wife. No, she does not become nicer and your relationship does not get better. You should however still marry her, she will give you two of the most amazing children ever born. These two girls will give your life the meaning that you never even imagined. After that your wife will start banging your best friend and move in with him...You're girls are worth it though so just bite the bullet and forge on.

[linzi]

Dear 15 year old Linzi,

First of all, it's not just your mother's fault that your parents divorced. Your father is going to move away to be with his new girlfriend and you have to make the best of things. Try to get along with your mom please, she is going to be a huge help when you have kids. Yes, you are going to have 2 girls so do not get that rose tatoo on your stomach when you turn 18. It's just going to get wrecked.

Second, stop being the girl in HS that keeps to herself instead of socializing. You have a wonderful personality! Start studying more and paying attention in all of your classes. You might want to consider college since the future you stops working to be a SAHM and suffers from PPD, insomnia, and high blood pressure.

Some older boys will get you liquored up and take advantage of you. Learn to say no and walk away. Putting out does not make you popular. You're going to meet some nice boys along the way. The type of guys that most girls don't go for. These are the relationships that will help you in the future when you get married.

You and Michael are not going to make it past 3 years. This is going to be the worst heartache you will ever feel. It's going to take a few years to get over him, and even still, you still think about him to this day. But it will also be the best relationship you will ever have, so go on that car ride to the beach with him! Encourage him to become a lifeguard and to join the Marines. He is going to be the best thing that ever happened to you and you will never forget him. No matter what, don't try to be friends with his mother. She will never grow to love you and it will always be a burden on him. Don't even waste your time. This is why the two of you never make it. He gets married and divorced twice so it's not you, it's her/him.

When Rick proposes to you, tell him you want a big wedding and stick to it. You'll wind up getting married on the beach without your family and friends. You won't even have pictures or a honeymoon. And for pete's sake, stay on the birth control!! He CAN have children, don't even listen to him!! And when you do get pregnant, don't quit your job!! It will be OK to put your kids in daycare!! You're gonna thank me for this one!

Your grandmother is going to pass away soon so get to Jersey to see the family.

That's about it! Good luck with the driving test and don't forget to study for the SAT's! :thumbup:

Your 30 year old self

[Torque]

Dear 17-year old Torque,

Don't ride the horse named "Im So Delightful" on that fateful Thursday afternoon. You'll break your back and you don't have insurance.

Stay over at your friend's house on that rainy night after wing-fest your freshman year of college- you'll total your first and best car ever and it will take 4 fireman to drag you away from the upside down newly painted beaut you just finished restoring 1 month earlier and force you onto a stretcher.

Don't go for a stroll down the boss's driveway to the back pasture the summer you turn 17. Its not just a thunderstorm- a tornado will go through and a large tree will fall on you you idiot.

Holy F!
You're indestructible!

Haha, not really, just a late bloomer with accidents. My back was the first and so far last broken "bone", the only injury I sustained in the car accident was that I cut my elbow when it broke through the window and had to get stitches (albeit MANY stitches), and the tree only knocked the wind out of me, when I opened my eyes the main trunk was inches from my face but I was only pinned down by a branch. Something new is bound to happen eventually with my chosen hobbies, but til then I'm quite spry!