Bass Players

[glikeglook]

The only thing less talented than a bass player is a bass player in a rock band church.

[dasbow]

The only thing less talented than a bass player is a bass player in a rock band church.

A rock band church? Did Freebeer dictate that or what?

[metalx]

If only there was a church based on rock band.....


It wouldn't suprise me one bit

[zig]

One time I walked up to a guy sitting on the street who had a hat laying on the ground in front of him and was playing his bass guitar for money. He was really talented as far as bass players go, but I still felt the need to stomp on the empty hat and kick the guy in the face. After I had done so, I realized that the dude had actually been sleeping and the noise I heard was just a squirrel gnawing on one of the cords.

[derek]

Hey now, I play bass!

And cello, and viola, and piano...but I still play bass!

[zig]

Well that's not bad, you can back yourself up when playing one of those real instruments by idly strumming the bass with your foot.

[dasbow]

I don't know why this is in the touchy subjects area. Everyone agrees that bass players are stupid and their 'instrument' sucks.

[zig]

I think it has to go in here unless the message board adopts a policy of instantly banning all known bass players. Which might not be such a bad idea, really.

[dino]

I think it has to go in here unless the message board adopts a policy of instantly banning all known bass players. Which might not be such a bad idea, really.

We'll take that into consideration.

Derek....What do you think?

[dasbow]

I think it has to go in here unless the message board adopts a policy of instantly banning all known bass players. Which might not be such a bad idea, really.

Aren't they too stupid and uncoordinated to log on?

[derek]

I think it has to go in here unless the message board adopts a policy of instantly banning all known bass players. Which might not be such a bad idea, really.

We'll take that into consideration.

Derek....What do you think?

Well, let's see, I play bass, and I am able to log in and post, I am a moderator. Hmmm.....

This should stay a touchy subject, I am greatly hurt (sarcasm people, that is sarcasm)

[dino]

Sorry Zig....Don't think that's going to fly

[zig]

Having bass players in positions of power is like putting the scarecrow in charge of the farm. This will surely doom us all.

[derek]

Having bass players in positions of power is like putting the scarecrow in charge of the farm. This will surely doom us all.

You may or may not come to regret that :-X

[donttasemebro]

One time I read that anyone who is a bass player is 108% more likely to drive an ice cream truck and troll for children...and they are not really human because humans do not possess a bass playing enjoyment gene, so that must make them....Communists!!!! oh noes!

[derek]

One time I read that anyone who is a bass player is 108% more likely to drive an ice cream truck and troll for children...and they are not really human because humans do not possess a bass playing enjoyment gene, so that must make them....Communists!!!! oh noes!

Yes, I am a commy bastard. My first rule will be this: sex-day. Second one would be the national kissing day.

[slickspoon]

i play bass...its another thing that makes me useless in life

[zig]

At least you aren't in denial about what a horrible person you are. That's something.

[derek]

At least you aren't in denial about what a horrible person you are. That's something.

So am I a horrible person?

[zig]

Yes. Yes you are. The first step is acceptance, Derek.

[derek]

I admit it. I am a horrible person. I will stop playing bass and stick to my Cello. Will you guys please accept me back into your community?

[fistor!@#]

I admit it. I am a horrible person. I will stop playing bass and stick to my Cello. Will you guys please accept me back into your community?

Not until you unlock my sweet bass joke thread. I was on a Effing roll.

[derek]

Unlocked.

[Mark the Valet]

I play bass.
I'm totally awesome.

[derek]

I play bass.
I'm totally awesome.

Careful what you speak of that arond here

[zig]

I play bass.
I'm totally awesome.

Does not compute. "Awesome bassist" is an oxymoron.

[Mark the Valet]

I'm having a bassgasm.

[c15kenworthman]

I don't know why this is in the touchy subjects area. Everyone agrees that bass players are stupid and their 'instrument' sucks.

I think the funniest part of that statement is that you aren't even smart enough to play this easy as hell instrument.

[zig]

I demand that a moderator remove the image of an ugly, talentless "man" molesting a bass guitar. It is extremely offensive and goes against my religious beliefs.

[providencecrow]

I demand that a moderator remove the image of an ugly, talentless man "playing" a bass guitar. It is extremely offensive and goes against my religious beliefs.

You screwed up, the quotes go around man.

[zig]

Fixed.

[Mark the Valet]

Hey!

I'm not talentless!

[donttasemebro]

Dude srsly bass sucks sooo much that even Chuck Norris can't make it awesome, and his tears cure cancer....What does that say about bass?

It has also been recorded that 99.9% of people would rather contract super AIDS and ass cancer over playing bass any day, it's the truth and the .1% who would rather play bass are just broken mingers that enjoy having sex with their mothers dogs.

[jimbozane]

I play bass in 2 bands and I find bass player jokes pretty funny.

who gets ripped next???? drummers???

Q.how many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A.none we have machines to do that now

Q.how can you tell if a drummer is knocking at your door??

A.it starts out fast than slows down than goes fast again

[zig]

Woah woah woah, hold your horses there Jimbo; I don't think we're ready to branch out to that just yet. At least drummers get chicks and can technically still be considered real people.

[providencecrow]

Q.how can you tell if a drummer is knocking at your door??

A.it starts out fast than slows down than goes fast again

I thought you were going to go with an inconsistent volume joke....you sir win

[bluesman]

Bass players are like the special olympics for guitar players!

"im stupid" (sound clip)

Bass players can suck it!

I would rather have my ear gnawed off by a marmot than listen to a dumb ass bass solo.

[scooterfanatic]

All you need to become the bass player of any band is to HAVE a bass and amp. Just having the equipment is enough. If you really, really suck (and that's saying something for bass), then they can turn your amp down and at worst you add this quirky not-quite-right-but-still-passable element to the band.

The job of a bass player is the make the bass drum louder. that's it.

[Wiener Poopie]

The definition of cool: