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The Unofficial Opie & Anthony Message Board - Ask Dear Grumpy - Part II (Serious Questions Only)

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Displaying 51-75 of 108 messages in this thread.
Posted ByDiscussion Topic: Ask Dear Grumpy - Part II (Serious Questions Only)
spitfire421
posted on 03-16-2001 @ 1:16 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Dec. 00
Dear Dr. Frumpy,

I seem to have an interesting problem. See, I used to wear really sexy thongs all the time and everything was going well. However, lately, I’ve been going commando, and it’s starting to turn me on. I love the way the fabric feels against my…well, you get the point. I feel like I am no longer “locked up”. Is this normal or should I seek help aka a Victoria’s Secret customer service rep?

Sincerely,
I Feel So Free




My adopted troubled children are Atomic Punk & Weinie....all problems with either of them should be addressed to me [email protected]

Grumpy
SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!!
posted on 03-16-2001 @ 1:31 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Dec. 00
Dear Feel Free,

You're letter is the first that has left the good Dr. Grumpy at a loss for words and in need of tissue. But I will help you with your "problem". Before VS or Fredricks or underwear in general, we are all born 'Commando'. So it is natural for a young, sexual, adolecents with raging hormones and endless desires to fulfill over and over and over and over....I'm sorry. I digress. There's is nothing wrong with going 'Commando'. I often go commando with hopes of allowing Grumpy Jr. the freedom to 'flaunt' his stuff. Of course, the childrens section of the local K-mart may not have been the best place to flaunt him.

If you feel the need the wear underwear, I would suggest the Victoria Secrets Sheer and Thin collection. It lets you feel free while holding it in. I would be more than happy to assist you select these items as well giving my opinion on how they look on you as you model them for me. This would be for professional reasons only. I want to ensure that your inner soul is comfortable with your outer bodaciously naked body.... I mean, your outer soul.

Thank you for asking Dear Grumpy. I hope I've been able to shed light on your problem.

Grumpy




Newest members of the Grumpy's: FDA & ItsASickness

Report all of their inappropriate behaviors to me.
Erin Gah Braugh - And take off your bra
Do ya have any Irish in ya? No? Bend over and I'll give ya some.
Sean Cold 3:16
posted on 03-16-2001 @ 4:20 PM      
Hanger-On
Registered: Jan. 70
Dear Grumpy,

I have a problem with people who don't know how to mind there own buisness and have to get involved with my life! Brainless fucking drones who do not no when to shut the fuck up about me! You know the kind I am talking about. Like the scummy ass F's who start rumors for no reason and have not one mother fuckin ounce of truth behinnd them. Or the scumbags who just have to be involved in every fuckin detail of someone else's life> Even the shit necks who try and talk you out of things that you want to do because they feel they have something to gain! And how can I forget the weasels who steal all your ideas and roon everything for you?

Now, since shooting all of these mother Fucker's with a twelve gauge shot gun could be more trouble than it is worth, what should I do?

And Thats The Bottom Line.....


E-Mail Me


Girl, don't go away mad, Bitch just go the fuck away!!!!


I DECIDE WHO LIVES OR DIES

GonzoStyle
posted on 03-16-2001 @ 4:28 PM      
Hanger-On
Registered: Jan. 70
Dear Frumpy

Have you ever had sex with your mom? and if so....did she like it? my mother enjoys it immensely...and i hope this is a normal circumstance that occurs in every home. I mean it started off innocently when i said "mommy i had a bad dream can i sleep with you?" she though like actual sleep when i was asking for some oral. But ....well soon we were not only having oral but anal on a regular basis....what's your take on it?

also.. i if it is normal to go down on a chick with warts, herpes, who has an infested aids cunt. see ya all in hell!!! and fuck all your mothers! like i do to mine be a good son.

Sincerly Yours,
Literal MotherFucker.

KID TOUCHING FREAK OF OA.COM
Kid Touching Freak
Of OpieAnthony.com
Touching Children One At A Time



This message was edited by GonzoStyle on 3-16-01 @ 4:37 PM
Grumpy
SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!!
posted on 03-16-2001 @ 4:37 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Dec. 00
DEar Sean,

A 12 gauge is not the answer. You have two solutions. Be the bigger person and ignore the retards. Or you confront them and cause yourself more heartache.

I think the best thing to do in this situation is to get your drink on and tell the fucker to go fuck themselves. It also helps if porn is involved in stress relief.

Not really sure if I was able to help you.

Grumpy

======================================

Dear hook nose,

Can't say that I ever had an Oedipus complex. But that floats your boat then I suggest you move to a small third world country where that is condoned and accepted. I hear the Philipines is very loose laws.

Grumpy



Newest members of the Grumpy's: FDA & ItsASickness

Report all of their inappropriate behaviors to me.
Erin Gah Braugh - And take off your bra
Do ya have any Irish in ya? No? Bend over and I'll give ya some.
TFEC
Coming Soon!!! The Grand Opening of The Junkyard Bar & Grill!
posted on 03-17-2001 @ 3:42 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Sep. 00
Dear leprachan wanna-be,
What's the difference between a dwarf and a midget? Since you can't see either one without looking down why two different names for these short fucks?


FUCK 5 MINUTES!!! THE BOMBING STARTS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!
LONG LIVE SYNDICATION UNDERGROUND!!!
LET'S GO DEVILS!!!!
LET'S GO GIANTS!!!!
Grumpy
SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!!
posted on 03-17-2001 @ 5:32 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Dec. 00
Dear Two Fisting Enema Consumer (TFEC),

First off fuck face, we prefer to be called Vertically Challenged People. It's the politically correct term. Much like your people like to be called Sexual Confused as opposed to fag, butt pirate, or homo sword swallower. But to answer your question midgets are passive and friendly. Dwarfs will kick you in the nuts and have sex with your female family members when you're not looking. It may not be politically correct to say that. Fucking sue me.

Ah yes, the world of being politically correct. I have yet to comprehend that. When did people get a pole up their ass about things? Why do we have to be politically correct?

A whore is a whore: Not a sexual active person
A cock tease is a cock tease: Not a flirtatious person
A Bitch is a bitch: Not a female suffering from hormonal imbalances.
A fucking Dwarf is a fucking Dwarf: Not a sexually active vertically challenged person.

Screw this political correction shit. Someone answer this for me. Humans can fuck in cars, beds, on stoves, in showers, in closets and practically in any 2x2 square foot space. Why the fuck does the Spotted Owl need 50 Million Acres of forest to reproduce? They taste like chicken anyway. So what if they don't survive, we got plenty of chickens in the world.

Thank you for asking Dear Grumpy. I hope I've been able to shed light on your problem.

Grumpy




Newest members of the Grumpy's: FDA & ItsASickness

Report all of their inappropriate behaviors to me.
Erin Gah Braugh - And take off your bra
Do ya have any Irish in ya? No? Bend over and I'll give ya some.
TFEC
Coming Soon!!! The Grand Opening of The Junkyard Bar & Grill!
posted on 03-18-2001 @ 1:11 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Sep. 00
Dear kid touching runty,

I have found out through personal experiance that you are completly wrong about those ginny wop dago broads!!!!
THEY ARE ALL FUCKED IN THE HEAD MUCH WORSE THEN ANY OTHER WOMAN ON THE PLANET!!!!!

Now I am not bashing all women in general just those with I-talian in them. These women are completly crazy and should be avoided at all costs!!!

FUCK 5 MINUTES!!! THE BOMBING STARTS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!
LONG LIVE SYNDICATION UNDERGROUND!!!
LET'S GO DEVILS!!!!
LET'S GO GIANTS!!!!
Brokenjaw
Always will bow down to the power of the Faceman!!!!
posted on 03-18-2001 @ 1:46 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Nov. 00
quote:

Now I am not bashing all women in general just those with I-talian in them. These women are completly crazy and should be avoided at all costs!!!




LMMFAO you got it all wrong I have an I-talian girlfriend and shes the greatest.

My adopted newbie is Voyer bus window licker report all transgresions to me.
TFEC
Coming Soon!!! The Grand Opening of The Junkyard Bar & Grill!
posted on 03-18-2001 @ 1:58 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Sep. 00
look here (if you can) I was not talking to you so you better just back the fuck up ass-f and shuit the fuck up!!! And if you knew half the shit I do about that wack job bitch of yours you would run for the hills!!!!!

FUCK 5 MINUTES!!! THE BOMBING STARTS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!
LONG LIVE SYNDICATION UNDERGROUND!!!
LET'S GO DEVILS!!!!
LET'S GO GIANTS!!!!
Brokenjaw
Always will bow down to the power of the Faceman!!!!
posted on 03-18-2001 @ 2:00 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Nov. 00
Bro I have no idea what you are talking about. I just stumbled across this page and thought it was funny what you wrote. I have no problem with you, And yes I can see whatever that means

My adopted newbie is Voyer bus window licker report all transgresions to me.
Brokenjaw
Always will bow down to the power of the Faceman!!!!
posted on 03-18-2001 @ 2:05 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Nov. 00
quote:

And if you knew half the shit I do about that wack job bitch of yours you would run for the hills!!!!!





Look bro like i said I have no problem with you, but I have to say I dont like you talking about her like that, what the fuck is your problem? You are going to sit here and type stupid bullshit about her,that's just fucked up. I am not going to sit here and have some stupid fucking internet fight with you thats just fucking retarded.



My adopted newbie is Voyer bus window licker report all transgresions to me.
TFEC
Coming Soon!!! The Grand Opening of The Junkyard Bar & Grill!
posted on 03-18-2001 @ 2:12 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Sep. 00
Too fuckin bad ass-f!!! Maybe next time you'll keep your fucking mouth shut and mind your own fucking bizness!!!!

BTW I will call whoever I want whatever I fucking want, asshole!!!!!!!
FUCK 5 MINUTES!!! THE BOMBING STARTS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!
LONG LIVE SYNDICATION UNDERGROUND!!!
LET'S GO DEVILS!!!!
LET'S GO GIANTS!!!!

This message was edited by TFEC on 3-18-01 @ 2:15 PM
CriticsLoveSnatch
i know better than to ask for a status from you mean ol' mods
Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag Emo Fag
I shall call him mini-FTL
posted on 03-18-2001 @ 2:14 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Oct. 00
look TFEC -

obviously you got burned by someone, and god knows i feel for you because i got pretty fucked over myself, but i don't think its cool talking about somebody elses girl like that...deep clensing breaths...calm is good


"Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups"

My Adopted Mini-Critics are PLAYMATE01 and Sgt. Krusty
TFEC
Coming Soon!!! The Grand Opening of The Junkyard Bar & Grill!
posted on 03-18-2001 @ 2:27 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Sep. 00
If you don't know the whole story than shut the fuck up!!!!!!

FUCK 5 MINUTES!!! THE BOMBING STARTS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!
LONG LIVE SYNDICATION UNDERGROUND!!!
LET'S GO DEVILS!!!!
LET'S GO GIANTS!!!!
GrkqtOandAfan
Claim staked by FTL.
posted on 03-18-2001 @ 2:45 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Oct. 00
Guys relax...dont defile Grump's thread, take it to fight club if necessary...calm yourselves


"What are we going to do about this?
"OA.com Where the men become boys and the women are play toys"

Dominatrix/Adopter of Death_row_Marv

bluetarp
posted on 03-18-2001 @ 3:12 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jan. 01
Dear Grumpster,
I am in a quandry, being devoured by the swirling cesspool of my own steaming desires, ahhh I'm a wreck! My life is being narrated by a whispery voice. I used to have a garage band, but we broke up. My Catholic Girlfriend ran off to become a crew slut, I think the band was Toad-o or something like that. We used to go to the church club, hold hands and think pure thoughts, but now she is on the road, earning bus fare by winning wet t-shirt contests. In the mean time, I fell in with a fast crowd, and it hurts when I pee. Then I went to meet L. Ron Hoover at the first church of appliantology, and convinced me I am a latent appliance fetishist. After learning to speak German, and wearing a german housewife costume I went to the bar called the closet, and met a really cute appliance, looked like a cross between an industrial vacuum and a chrome piggy bank with marital aids stuck all over it's body. After giving her roommate a golden shower, I spent a little time in prison. When I got out, I was obsessed with imaginary guitar solos, till one day, I played my last solo, and went to work in a muffin factory making little green rosettas. I would love to put these experiences in some format, but am not sure if the story has been told before. Am I a kook, or is this a regular, average boring story?


Oh well, missed the Zappa reference!

This message was edited by bluetarp on 3-18-01 @ 4:13 PM
Grumpy
SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!!
posted on 03-18-2001 @ 3:42 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Dec. 00
Dear Totally Fucking Eating Cock, BrokenDick and Smells Like Snatch,

I would like to PERSONALLY thank you for your UNSOLICITED opinions regarding Italian females and their rituals of dating. Now please understand, as much as Dr. Grumpy like to open discuss issues with people, there are more important issues that require my attention.

Thank you for coming to see. Please see my reception for a complimentary copy of my latest book:

DEFILING MY THREADS AND THE DEADLY CONSEQUENCES THAT YOU WILL PAY IF YOU DO

Also, be sure to ask her about the complimentary boot which she will gladly place firmly in your posterior.

Grumpy




Newest members of the Grumpy's: FDA & ItsASickness

Report all of their inappropriate behaviors to me.
Erin Gah Braugh - And take off your bra
Do ya have any Irish in ya? No? Bend over and I'll give ya some.
Grumpy
SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!!
posted on 03-18-2001 @ 3:50 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Dec. 00
Dear BlueTarp,

I can't say that I feel your pain. Actually, I hope I never have to feel your pain. Your deep down bad boy attitudes seem to have been surpressed during your childhood. It is apparent from your childhood picture that you are suffering from repression. Either that or you're taking a really good hard crap in your diaper. It's hard to tell. Regardless of it, there is only one thing for you to do.

Your bad-boy, hell to the world, fuck you, attitude needs to be lived out to it's fullest extent. You seem to thrive on adrenaline. Here's a few things you can do.

- Go down to Harlem with a wod of cash visible in your pocket and see how long you can keep it.
- Run into a KKK meeting with a sign saying 'Al Sharpton is my hero'
- Play a life version of Frogger on the LIE just before rush-hour.
- Jump out of an airplane and aim for a lake to land in. Don't forget to leave your parachute on the plane when you jump.

By fulfilling your internal desire for pain and punishment, you can give up your emotional insecurities. Please be sure to sign the attached Power of Attorney giving me full control of your assets before you do. I'll keep an eye on them until you come back.

By the way - Mary Louise says hello from Tellupa, Kansas. She's doing fine. Her man is taking very good care of her. His beatings are not as frequent. She asked if you could send her kneepads. She said something about making it easier to be down on her knees. I think she may have gone back to church.

Thank you for contacting Dear Grumpy. I hope I've been able to shed light on your problem.

Grumpy



Newest members of the Grumpy's: FDA & ItsASickness

Report all of their inappropriate behaviors to me.
Erin Gah Braugh - And take off your bra
Do ya have any Irish in ya? No? Bend over and I'll give ya some.
TFEC
Coming Soon!!! The Grand Opening of The Junkyard Bar & Grill!
posted on 03-18-2001 @ 4:06 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Sep. 00
Dear man-chowder loving fidget,

I'm not racist, I hate everybody. Is this normal?

Also your secretary has been defiled and will not be able to walk let alone lift her legs for a while.




FUCK 5 MINUTES!!! THE BOMBING STARTS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!
LONG LIVE SYNDICATION UNDERGROUND!!!
LET'S GO DEVILS!!!!
LET'S GO GIANTS!!!!

This message was edited by TFEC on 3-18-01 @ 4:18 PM
bluetarp
posted on 03-18-2001 @ 5:26 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Jan. 01
quote:

- Go down to Harlem with a wod of cash visible in your pocket and see how long you can keep it.
- Run into a KKK meeting with a sign saying 'Al Sharpton is my hero'
- Play a life version of Frogger on the LIE just before rush-hour.
- Jump out of an airplane and aim for a lake to land in. Don't forget to leave your parachute on the plane when you jump.


-Did it last night, and the only way to lose it was to drink.
-Did it 3 weeks ago, great way to get new bed linen, except it all had holes in it.
-Did it with 1 leg tied behind my back to make it interesting
-Haven't you heard about my record breaking belly flop into round valley resevoir? It took them 2 years to recover water levels.
Oh well, thanks anyway.

Grumpy
SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!!
posted on 03-19-2001 @ 9:29 AM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Dec. 00
Dear Too Fucking Easy Cocksucker (TFEC),

Hatred is such a vague word. Like a lot of words in english language, it has so many meanings in different contexts.

One of my favorite words is 'Worship'. To idolize, to fawn, to pray to. Used in a sentence:

I worship her boobs from afar.
I'd worship her if she only let me lick her boots.
Women worship the ground that Grumpy walks on!


Now there's a word for ya! As for you being a racist, well - I'd like to revert you to my second suggestion that I gave bluetarp. The KKK thing. See how far you can get.

I hope I've been able to help you.

Grumpy




Newest members of the Grumpy's: FDA & ItsASickness
THEIR BOTH MIA. IF YOU SEE THEM, TELL THEM THEIR GRADUATION IS IN JEOPARDY!


"KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, EYES OPEN AND LISTEN. YOU MIGHT JUST LEARN SOMETHING"

Cap'n Fudge
posted on 03-19-2001 @ 12:48 PM      
O&A Board Regular
Registered: Oct. 00
Dear Grumpy,

Why do monkeys die?

The Man in the Yellow Hat

It's time for the smoking of the green! St. Patty's Day

[email protected]

Grumpy
SAGILLID The Midget Message Board Mauler rides his trusty mount Wilbur once again!! Internet Idiots beware!!
posted on 03-19-2001 @ 12:52 PM      
O&A Board Veteran
Registered: Dec. 00
Dear Man in the Yellow Hat,

There was a great play written by a great american author, JD Salimander. It was called 'Death of a Monkee'. A very touching story of human emotions, love, lust and a monkey named Bobo. Bobo was a tried and true family pet to the Heston's. He amused the father, Charles, for little more than a banana or a piece of apple.

Until that one cold day in December when Chuck went apeshit (punn intended) and went on a rampage. He kept screaming 'Cornelius, you damn dirty ape. I love you but you don't love me. Why? Why?'. As he grabbed Bobo, he violated the poor Chinese Monkey. Bobo was never the same after that. He went into a deep dark depression and refused to eat. He would throw his excretions (shit) at the walls. Then the day of reckoning came. Bobo ran away. He ran far and fast. The poor little chimp never saw the Budweiser Truck coming. The term 'flat as a pancake' comes to mind.

So Yellow hat, to answer your question - Love kills monkees. Remember - Love your pets, but don't LOVE your pets.

Thank you for asking Dear Grumpy. I hope I've been able to shed light on your problem.

Grumpy




Newest members of the Grumpy's: FDA & ItsASickness
THEY'RE BOTH M.I.A. IF YOU SEE THEM, TELL THEM THEIR GRADUATION IS IN JEOPARDY!


"KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, EYES OPEN AND LISTEN. YOU MIGHT JUST LEARN SOMETHING"

Kid Afrika
posted on 03-19-2001 @ 2:19 PM      
Hanger-On
Registered: Jan. 70
quote:

DEFILING MY THREADS AND THE DEADLY CONSEQUENCES THAT YOU WILL PAY IF YOU DO


Dear frumpy,

Will you ever get over yourself?

Confused from Rancho Cucamunga


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Displaying 51-75 of 108 messages in this thread.