02-17-2009, 07:51 PM
My problem here is I'm one of those "all or nothing" kind of guys. When I was living as a Christian I would go for a month with out masturbating which was like eternity. It would feel like my balls were on fire and and my brain would get fuzzy. But then I was like "God will forgive me just this once" Then.... well....
Anyway, a couple of days later I would be SOOOO wracked with guilt, begging for Gods forgiveness, I would accept his forgiveness in Christs blood then a month later BAM!!! same thing. I couldn't take it and I felt like I was insane. Month after month it went on this way and the frequency of "the deed" got closer and closer. Then I felt like the worlds biggest hypocrite. Then the porn came back. Then my wife found it and freaked.
Anyway, a couple of days later I would be SOOOO wracked with guilt, begging for Gods forgiveness, I would accept his forgiveness in Christs blood then a month later BAM!!! same thing. I couldn't take it and I felt like I was insane. Month after month it went on this way and the frequency of "the deed" got closer and closer. Then I felt like the worlds biggest hypocrite. Then the porn came back. Then my wife found it and freaked.
"Sir, You need to get out of your car, there is a train comming."
"Why ummm... uhhh did you ummm... feel the need to errrrr, god why can't I type!!"
"Why ummm... uhhh did you ummm... feel the need to errrrr, god why can't I type!!"