What You Will Be/Have Been for Halloween

[Biff]

You've got a thing for asian chicks don't you? The chick in the background of your pic in Let's See You is asian. And you've had one in the past too? Hmmmm. Pattern? Or was that the cute asian french maid?

I like brunettes and don't like blondes but Asian women are my favorite. I married a Chinese woman and have dated Korean, Filipino, Malaysian, Indonesian, and Vietnamese women.

[beckyp]

You've got a thing for asian chicks don't you? The chick in the background of your pic in Let's See You is asian. And you've had one in the past too? Hmmmm. Pattern? Or was that the cute asian french maid?

I like brunettes and don't like blondes

'splains a lot.

[ashleykme]

hmmph, what's wrong with blondes? haha I'm a party pooper though, I HATE Halloween. I'm not sure why, normally I'm a pretty fun girl, but costumes? who are we fooling? no one. Halloween..... hmmph I'm just a bitter person

[Biff]

I like brunettes and don't like blondes

'splains a lot.

Allow me to rephrase: I like blondes just fine.......for mockin'!

In all seriousness, I just don't care for blondes from an attraction standpoint. Once in a blue moon I'll see one that will make me look twice but I think even average looking brunettes are more attractive.

[Torque]

I'd LOVE to have really dark hair, wish i had the balls to fake it

[burnking]

I think I speak for us all when I say that we're all pretty satisfied with your balllessness.

Most recently I've been Allen Iverson, a pirate (hardy har), and the Phantom of the Opera. I'm actually trying to come up with something creative this year and I'm struggling. I'd love to pull off the Joker but like it was said, everyone is going to be doing that, so it's a no go.

[Allyson]

I never buy costumes, I always make something out of what I already have. Like most girls I have been some sort of slut the past few years. Sexy teacher a few times, a hooker (boyfriend was a pimp), last year my roommates and I were the Girls Next Door and we had a Hef - at least I was the classiest as Holly.

I'll probably skip Halloween this year as I'm out of college now. We'll see.

[Torque]

I think I speak for us all when I say that we're all pretty satisfied with your balllessness.

Most recently I've been Allen Iverson, a pirate (hardy har), and the Phantom of the Opera. I'm actually trying to come up with something creative this year and I'm struggling. I'd love to pull off the Joker but like it was said, everyone is going to be doing that, so it's a no go.

Why thank you. If you want to be Joker, why don't you just do it and have as props movie theater cardboard cutouts and posters, then just act a little more suspicious than the average halloween joker

[Mad Dog]

As a kid my mom bought me those three dollar costumes with a crappy plastic mask and a thin piece of elastic. As an adult I've been a werewolf, a Zombie, the devil, and my favorite, a Vampire.

[boizalynne]

The only thing Justin Timberlake ever did that I liked.

I'd add Britney Spears to that list.

Yuck.... maybe 10 years ago....

[Mad Dog]

I'd add Britney Spears to that list.

Yuck.... maybe 10 years ago....

If she took a bath once in a while she'd be hot again.

[Torque]

You can't wash off crazy

[boizalynne]

You can't wash off crazy

+1

[loosewendy]

In no particular order I have been Ernie, a clown, a barbie, Punky Brewster, a witch, Steve Urkel, a cheerleader, a school girl, a french maid and a pirate. I'm sure there were more, but I don't remember them.

This year? The scariest thing I can possibly think of: Sarah Palin.

[fetusfacedwindbag]

I'll probably be the same pimp I've been for the past several Halloweens... it works and I don't have to spend any money on it.

[Allyson]

I'm thinking about being Sarah Palin, I think I could pull it off.

[Biff]

I'm thinking about being Sarah Palin, I think I could pull it off.

Yes you definitely could!

/creepy stalker voice

[Biff]

I have been a french maid.

I'm going to have to have some photographic proof.

[loosewendy]

I have been a french maid.

I'm going to have to have some photographic proof.

Oh, it was not a good french maid outfit... the school girl was much better.

[mayorofawesometown]

I'm thinking about being Sarah Palin, I think I could pull it off.

Do you have a $150,000 wardrobe to be truly authentic?

[Mark the Valet]

Me? I didn't have any good ideas until one randomly popped in my head: ZOMBIE PIRATE NINJA.

I test drove it tonight:



Now, this is obviously not the final product as I said ZOMBIE pirate ninja and clearly in that photo I do not look like a zombie at all. Not so fast, my friends! I have that avenue covered just like myself in honey when I go out jogging nude. I see the ladies looking; and when I do I give them my signature upwards nod as if to say: "Yeah, I see you lookin', pretty lady, and boy am I lookin' too"

Behold!



My plan is to make what's left on my visible face zombified and leave those horrific gouges across my face...The awesome level that this will bring about when it's all said and done will rival natural disasters in power.

Though, while taking these pictures I couldn't help but think a sly, dashing debonair international spy ninja wouldn't be a bad idea either:



but that's besides the point.

Also, I purchased some rad batman gauntlets for like 11 bucks -- check these bitches out:



OH Eff YEAH.
Now, I know what you're all thinking..."Oh God, not this whole pirate/ninja crap again" I know. It's old, but hey. Screw off, I like goofy shit like this. Besides, how can you hate a costume that makes me look like pirate version of the Shredder back in the 1700's?



Yeah, that's right.

[Mad Dog]

So how are you going to get all those slashes on one eye??

[Mark the Valet]

I don't need them all, just enough to look horrifically decayed.

[Biff]

I'm going to have to have some photographic proof.

Oh, it was not a good french maid outfit... the school girl was much better.

Again, photographic proof is a necessity!

[loosewendy]

I'm thinking about being Sarah Palin, I think I could pull it off.

Do you have a $150,000 wardrobe to be truly authentic?

Ha! Are you kidding? I work in radio...

I have a trashbag with holes cut in it and sandals made out of cardboard boxes.

[Torque]

I bet you will still look classy. Besides, you just need the hair and glasses and everyone will know who you are.

[jaydethespaz]

I think mark the valet's costume effing rocks! i was laughing for 10 minutes. it's gonna be bad ass man! you roll with it!

[peachs]

Shaun gave me permission to wear his Navy Dress Blues in to work on Friday... I think I might... If I can fit into the pants.....

[patmcgroin]

3 Years ago I was Flavor Flav (right at the peak of Flavor of Love). I wore super baggy clothes, a hubcap around my neck, and had gum wrappers in my teeth. That was fun.

Then last year I was a domino. I found a refrigerator box and painted it white with a black dot and cut out my face. It was awesome.

This year I work on Halloween. I work at Meijer, so I plan on showing up to work dressed up as Frederick Meijer, complete with coke bottle glasses and balding head.

[Biff]

My kids were pandas:

[mainerliser]

OMG!!! They are just way too cute!!

[peachs]

I went to work in Shaun's dress blue uniform... ppl got a huge kick out of it...

[Biff]

He's an EM1 with less than 8 years in? Was he a 6YO?

[peachs]

He's an EM1 with less than 8 years in? Was he a 6YO?

I have no idea what that means to be honest... He's been in for 8 or so though, I think.. I could ask him, or have him esplain, when he has the time (and isn't sleeping peacefully on the couch before work)

[loosewendy]

>
Here's the Palin from this year:



And here's the school girl from a couple of years ago:

[Mark the Valet]

Good lord!
Wendy delivers and wins this topic.