League ID#: 340983
League Name: CDIH Football
Password: cdihrules
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I was all excited about the possibility and then I saw the 4th billed actor....

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I love his show on espn radio, it's really the best thing on radio. The sports talk is great but he also does a lot of non-sports stuff and the guy is really entertaining. I always loved Max because of his boxing stuff and how infectious his enthusiasm is when he talks about boxing.

Today he was ripping into jimmy fallon and how unfunny he is and then he started ripping on the guy who directed fallon in taxi and how embarassing that must be. Imagine that's your one directing credit and they have to use that in promition of your next film "from the director of taxi" which is the equivalent of hitler running for office in israel under the banner of "from the man who brought you the holocaust", I love Max.

they're gonna be good I think but the knicks will own the east, this is the year!

I really do. They are tacky, pompous, and unnecessary. It just serves as another way for these insignificant, meaningless people to feel important by saying, “hey look at me, my license plate is in a different format than yours! The standard random combination of numbers and letters isn’t good enough for me. I’m clever and witty and want to show the world these qualities by personalizing my license plate. I’m so special. Look at me!” It’s another way for people to try to get attention; to be noticed. The worst kinds of vanity plates are the ones that have stupid cutesy little plays on words/numbers. Two that I recall seeing recently are “P2NIA” and “2CUTE4U” Haha, get it! It says “Too Cute For You” but since 13 letters are far too many to fit on a license plate, they used numbers and letters in place of full words. Brilliant! Ugh. And what a whorish thing to tell your fellow drivers. “You’re too ugly to ever be with me. I am better than you in every way. Now fuck off, loser.”

That said, I found myself particularly enraged and disgusted at this story: http://www.lvrj.com/news/8825147.html

That’s all it takes? One person gets offended at some letters on a car, makes a phone call, and the license plate must be removed. I don’t even care about the First Amendment issue. I don’t care about this being a (albeit insane) form of censorship. The First Amendment has been butchered, raped, and distorted so much over the years that it’s lost all meaning. It is irrelevant at this point. What bothers me is this single unidentified motorist. How empty does your life have to be to find offense in a fucking license plate? What kind of a miserable, depraved, shell of a human being drives around seeking out things to get offended by? Even if you do see something on a license plate that you allow yourself to take offense to, so what? Just shake your head, roll your eyes, dismiss that motorist as being an asshole jerk, and continue living your disgusting pathetic excuse for a life. But no, they find it necessary to spread their misery to others, so they take the time to call the DMV, report that they’ve been offended and demand this plate be removed. People like this need to be destroyed. These are the same people whose lives are so empty; so devoid of any meaning or happiness, that they spend their life watching Extra and Access Hollywood. They have subscriptions to People and all the other celebrity gossip tabloid junk magazines. They spend so much time focusing on how Brad Pitt and Star Jones and Lindsey Lohan are living their lives that they don’t bother living their own. They are part of an alarmingly growing subculture in this country that have an unhealthy fascination with celebrities. Their lives are so dull and awful that the only way they can come close to achieving a modicum of happiness is to live vicariously through other people just because their face is plastered all over television.

But let’s get back to the issue at hand. The plate was XSTACY and the unemployed 320-pound soccer mom assumed it was a reference to the drug ecstasy. Because what else can it possibly mean? It’s not like ecstasy has any other meaning. The only plausible explanation is that the driver of the car is a drug dealer and that their vanity plate is the equivalent of a mobile business card. And since Bertha’s SUV drove past the drugmobile, it’s only a matter of time before they tried selling drugs to her kids. Because that’s exactly what this XSTACY drug czar is doing – driving around town, jotting down license plate numbers, hacking into the DMV’s database to get access to addresses and phone numbers of kids to sell drugs to. And since Bertha’s kids are weak, impressionable pussies, they will invariably get hooked on drugs, get AIDS, and kill their entire family with a hammer.

Actually, the multiple meanings of XSTACY aren’t even that important. If the license plate were COCANNIE or HEROINGRID or LSDEE or PCPETER, it still doesn’t change the fact that one person taking offense to something as trivial as a license plate should not warrant its removal.

The greatest irony in all of this is that this Stacy bitch thought the plate was a cute play on her name and did it to get some attention. Well congratulations, cuntface! Here’s the attention you’ve been so starved for. Happy now, stupid?

I first saw this story at work but didn’t read the whole thing. All I knew was that someone complained about a license plate they were offended by and it got removed. So leaving work that day I had an idea. I would find some way to feign offense at the first vanity plate I saw, report it to the DMV and demand it be surrendered. As it turns out, the first plate I saw (or at least the first one I noticed) had the license plate JEWLO 1. Perfect! When I got home, I read the entire story and came across this nice little excerpt:
The DMV's Web site says that personalized plates are allowed as long as they are not offensive or in bad taste…The agency will immediately start the process to recall plates if the combination of letters obviously spells out a category that is banned, which also includes gang references, sexual references and those that are aimed disparagingly at race, religion or ethnicity.

Before I go any further, I must point out how retarded the first part of that is. Who decides what is offensive or in bad taste? What’s offensive to one person is obviously not always offensive to somebody else. In order to clear up such ambiguity, the only logical thing is to ban all vanity plates. This will ensure nobody is offended and more importantly will prevent me from having to see any more of them. Everybody wins!

Here is the complaint that I have prepared for the DMV:

I am writing to report a vulgar and offensive personalized license plate and request it be surrendered to the DMV immediately. The vehicle I saw was a maroon Santa Fe V6 with the plate ‘JEWLO 1’. This is obviously a disparaging reference to Jews. As a Jew, I was deeply offended by this license plate and request its immediate removal from the roads. JEWLO is a play on words; combining the disparaging slur for a Jewish person, Jew, with Jennifer Lopez’s nickname, J-Lo. I find Jennifer Lopez very offensive. I despise her music, her movies, and her personality as a whole. I do not condone the way she conducts herself and find her promiscuous lifestyle to be morally reprehensible. Combining the moniker “J-Lo” with a term referring to Jewish heritage is disgusting and abominable. It suggests that all Jews practice the loose morals exhibited by Jennifer Lopez and her supporters. According to the DMV website, personalized plates will be rejected if they make a defamatory reference to race, ethnic heritage, or religion. I am shocked and appalled that you allowed such a plate to be issued. As a Jew, it is important for my culture and heritage to be unique and not intertwined with that of Puerto Rican heritage, or any other heritage for that matter. License plates such as these cheapen not only the Jewish religion, culture and heritage, but the Puerto Rican culture and heritage as well. There is no place for this on the streets of Nevada, and I demand that this license plate be surrendered to the appropriate authorities as soon as possible. Thank You.

Complaints like these are much more effective in writing rather than trying to relay them over the phone, so I will need to see if there is a specific address – physical or email – that handles these complaints. This should prove to be an interesting experiment…

We doin this shit?

Not that I promise to keep up, I just want to practice drafting for my money league.

I'm down for throwing a few bucks on it to make it interesting.

If you want to participate, post here and if you'd be down for putting say $25 bucks down on the line to give to the winner.

http://www.cleanishappy.com/

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Having the winner of the all-star game get home field in the World Series is obviously the most retarded idea that any professional sports commissioner has ever conjured. I'm not even going to waste time explaining why this has always been a horrible idea. It's really self explanatory.

Instead, here are just a few ideas that make way more sense:

1. Whoever leads the majors in home runs, the league they are in gets home field

2. The league that wins more interleague games gets home field

3. Take the 2 worst teams from each league. The team with the better record earns home field for their league

4. Combine the wins from all 8 playoff teams. The league that has a win total closest to 386 WITHOUT GOING OVER, gets home field

5. The league that totals the most 2-out triples gets home field

6. The conference that wins the Pro Bowl will earn home field for their opposite corresponding league. (AFC=NL; NFC=AL)

7. The league that has the most in-season managerial changes gets home field

8. The league that hits more opposite field home runs in the home run derby gets home field

9. The league that has the most pitchers undergo Tommy John surgery during the season gets home field

10. At the beginning of each postseason Bud Selig will be blindfolded as he throws a dart at the US map. He will then calculate the distance from each postseason city to this random spot. The league that has the cities with the shortest combined distance to this spot wins home field.