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Interesting theory about how the Internet is going to change media consumption in the next decade.

Fairly long flash, and the announcer's voice can get annoying, but I think it's pretty cool.



Edited By Galt on 1103243594

Celebrities at their worst:
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Metsblog
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Kevin Rose
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Circle Of Irony (political blog)
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....post your favorites

I found this on craigslist and thought it was quite amusing.

Quote:Dear Porn,

Hi there, how are you doing? It seems to me like you're thriving - you're a multi-billion-dollar worldwide industry and there's more of you out there every day, in new forms, with new perversions, expanding into more markets all the time. Your mother must be so proud.

Don't worry about not recognizing me - you don't know me, but we actually have a long history together. I won't go into the full story, but just let me say that I've done some crazy shit for you, stuff that I'm not entirely proud of...but that's not to say that you didn't reciprocate, of course. I mean, you completely changed my life three times - first, when I discovered masturbation, second, when I got a TV and VCR in my own room, and third, when I discovered that I could find you on the internet. Mind-blowing stuff...and now that I'm living by myself and am currently single, I can see you any time I want for as long as I want. This is like our Golden Age together, except for one slight problem. I didn't notice it at first, but as we spent more and more time together it became pretty obvious.

You suck, dude.

And I'm not trying to make some sort of cute pun here - you really do suck. You're awful, horrible, poorly made, and I can think of a whole list of huge problems that you have.

First off, you don't make any fucking sense. I mean, have you ever sat down and actually tried to watch one of your "features" straight through? If your plot isn't some needlessly complicated, convoluted mishmash of nightmarish editing, it's so utterly simple that non-sex scenes consist of little more than "Hey, we know each other, let's fuck." I realize that creating plausible situations for characters to have sex while only having 5-minute bursts of plot in which to do it in is difficult, but with that in mind, why bother? There are fewer people that watch a movie of you for the plot than read Playboy for the articles (if that's even possible).

Next, let's talk direction. Do any of the people who direct you have any clue what in hell they're doing? Here's just a few of the egregious errors most directors make:

1) The Extended Close-up: You know, this may surprise you, but anyone who's watched you for more than five minutes knows exactly what a penis going in and out of a vagina looks like. Especially when it's a close-up shot, where all you can see is pussy, cock, and pubic hair (except when it's a doggy-style shot, where all you can see is pussy, cock, balls, pubic hair, and a pair of asses). And do you know exactly what a close-up shot of a penis going in and out of a vagina looks like?

EVERY OTHER SINGLE FUCKING CLOSE-UP SHOT OF A PENIS GOING IN AND OUT OF A VAGINA THAT HAS EVER BEEN COMMITTED TO FILM IN HUMAN HISTORY, THAT'S WHAT! Okay? Do you get it now? We've seen it, and we've seen it a million times, and it never looks any different! It's not like you can even tell who's actually doing the fucking just by looking at the close-up, like some warped version of "Name That Tune" - so why do you feel the need to spend 45 seconds out of every minute showing it to us? Could we please actually see what's going on in the rest of the scene, and maybe show some breasts or, god forbid, the woman's face, for once?

2) The Guy Shot: Now what the hell is the point of this? Go out on the street and randomly poll people - 99% of them are going to tell you that women are better looking than men, and 100% of them are going to say that female porn stars are better looking than male porn stars (Ron Jeremy is smart and funny and all, but let's admit it, dude is fucking ugly). So why the hell do you randomly, all of a sudden, switch to a shot of either just the guy's face or just the guy's upper body or something for 30 seconds? Most guys in porn don't bother acting while they're fucking anyway, so all you really get is 30 seconds of not showing anything remotely interesting. And do you know how much it sucks to be jerking off, start to come, and then get stuck with a Guy Shot? You know it's too late and there's nothing you can do about it, but you'd rather be doing anything else than coming at that particular moment. (The nearest equivalent I can think of is prepping a launch of a missile, pressing the fire button, and all of a sudden realizing you've just launched it at your own house.)

3) The Acting: Can this get any worse? It's bad enough that the acting during the plot segments is wooden at best, but then when you get to the sex scenes themselves, it stays universally awful. First, there's girls who break the fourth wall and look at the camera when the cameraman isn't part of the scene. Girls, if you're in control enough to look all sultry at the camera, we can tell you're bullshitting. Secondly, girls, don't continue moaning after the guy has pulled out and is jerking off above you. Nobody is stimulating you in any way - who the hell do you think you're fooling? Thirdly, you could replace the guys in porn with pieces of plywood that have strap-ons attached to them, and there wouldn't be much difference.

(And speaking of the guys, what the hell is with most of you needing to jerk off to come? Here you are, having sex with women that most guys would give their non-masturbating arms to fuck, and they can't even get you off? That just seems wrong somehow.)

4) Recycled footage: How fucking dumb do you think we are? If you take the same 90-second loop of footage and use it two, three, or even four times during one scene - news flash! - we can tell, you idiots!

5) Outside shots: Sorry, but your directors need to learn the concept of light and shadow, because when you do a shitty job of dealing with light, all the shadow means that you can't see a damned thing. And I know it's outside and there are billions of insects out there, but seeing those little black flies or gnats flying around while trying to watch some cunnilingus is really a turnoff.

6) Anal: Look, porn, if I were into watching the gay version of you, I'd understand this. Guys not only have the nerve endings in the asshole itself, we have the prostate too, so it makes sense. But women? All they have is the nerve endings way down at the end, and with the amount of testimonials I've heard from real women who swear against it, why do you perpetuate this myth that women like taking it up the ass? Not only that, but when a girl sucks a cock after it's been up her ass, I don't feel like jerking off, I feel like cringing. What does one have to do to make that sanitary, give her a pre-fuck bleach enema?


Direction aside, there's all sorts of other stuff that stinks about you, porn. For every decent boob job, there's six girls who have obvious scars and stretch marks or look like they've had a pair of cantaloupe-sized lumps of Silly Putty stuck to their chests. For every Chasey Lain, there's three skanky-looking girls you wouldn't screw even if you were falling-down drunk. For every ten seconds' worth of actually arousing imagery, there's twenty minutes of uninspriring tedium. And worst of all, for every hour that I've spent watching you, downloading you, sneaking around my parents' house looking for you, and thinking about you in general, there's an hour that I could have spent been doing something else a million times more worthwhile.

You suck, porn. See you tonight.

Sincerely,
-Lifetime Porn Watcher #10,495,102,867

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The deal to bring Major League Baseball back to Washington, D.C, was described by Mayor Anthony Williams as close to dead Wednesday after the City Council changed the plan to require private financing.

"I believe the deal is broken. The dream is now close to dying," he said. "We're in great jeopardy here, and I think I'm being optimistic."


The City Council Tuesday approved a financing plan for a new waterfront stadium to host what would become the Washington Nationals baseball team, but added a requirement that the mayor find private financing to cover half the construction costs.


Taking out infrastructure and investment fund costs associated with the $1 billion project, the total amount needed in private financing for the stadium's construction would be about $140 million, Councilman Jack Evans said.


Without private financing in place by June no stadium would be built under the amendment proposed by Council Chairwoman Linda Cropp and approved by the council.


That could be a deal breaker, according to city sources close to the negotiations with Major League Baseball. Under the agreement signed by Williams and the baseball organization, firm funding must be finalized by December 31.


Williams and Evans, baseball's biggest supporter on the City Council, said they will continue to work with Cropp and the council to address the funding issue, noting they still have half a month to find a solution.


That would likely require the council to agree to remove the requirement that the stadium not be built without private funds. Instead, the mayor would simply be required to seek private financing options.

I really got no sleep last night and I really got swamped with phone calls for a 30 minute period, I musta had a dozen calls and was trying to balance them all. I finally am almost done when the guy who sits across from me says "hey try this" and I take a lolipop and put it in my mouth, I keep it there till I get off the phone.

I get off the phone and he's staring at me, he was actually just joking. It was his lolipop that he was already sucking on. He does shit like that, he'll say or do something weird outta nowhere. So to weird me out he tried offering me a lolipop he was obviously sucking on but I was too preoccupied to have noticed.

Most guys I guess would have been weirded out in my place and not only throw the lolipop away but go gargle but not me ofcourse. I showed that fucker up!!!! Now they finally know who they are dealing with!

assuming it is your real birthday - enjoy!

Just so ya know.

Not only one of them, but there are THREE OF THEM! THREE DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF WING DINGS!! And a "Webrings" spinoff font!!!

I submit that of the 50 or so fonts in Word, that at least 50% of them have never ever been used once by any user on any of the billion or so computers currently running such software.

Yet, I am sure that Microsoft has some team of folks making thousands of dollars a month whose job it is to come up with new and exciting fonts.

edit. first mod here can make prove his worth and move this to the pit.



Edited By Galt on 1103085393

Freebie on the top poker magazine. I know a bunch of you, besides myself, play poker online, tournies and such.

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