250 GB drive for $70

...at the poker tables at the Trop. i tell you in case you either want to:

1.come on down and have me strip you of all your cash.

or

2. rob my house.

You know who you are.

This is the thread where Arpi and I become friends due to our mutual admiration of smileys.

I just got back from the latest asylum my grandmother is visiting. The last hospital she was at she fell and broke her hip and she has been in and out of a conscious state ever since: either a complete zombie or a manic babbling mess. Well ultimatley they are going to have to try to "zap" her back to reality. But that particular hospital didn't have the EZT equipment or staff trained on it. She's like 80 and she might die from it but it's been so long that she's been messed up and there's really nothing left to lose at this point. So they transfered her there and EZT worked like 15 years ago when she was going through similar problems. She had the shock treatment and had worked her way to a state where she was completely self sufficient and was able to manage her depression with medication. But on to the more important issues...

I was at the nut case division of the new hospital (like the fourth one i've been to in a year) and granny was in one of her bad spells. Completely paranoid, warning me not to eat anything or they'll slip me a pill, capture, and torture me like they done her. PLEASE LEAVE! GO! PLEASE LEAVE! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. I was on red alert! Well in looking around and casing the joint looking for these devious men in white coats I see this hot fucking chink strolling down the hall. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. Beautiful body and I could see she had a tattoo just above her ass like a biker chicks or some JAP, trendy whore pornstar wanna-be. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GO She was smokin hot, tremendous ass, nice juicy athletic thighs, perky tits. I was thinking she was a nurse or a nurses-aide. However, I overheard a conversation between her and another pretty hot looking chick (who was very clearly on staff there). PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME The chink was asking the nurse/nurseaide if she could help her shave her armpits. Turns out the gook was a patient and I guess they were afraid she'd try to cut herself or something thus needed someone to be there while she did the deed (other wise i would think this to be a pretty disgusting scene, a turnoff, HELP ME SHAVE MY ARMPITS ugh, but for some reason it was arosing and the blood started to flow to the peepee as all of these perverted scenarios flew through my mind) I was thinking maybe she got raped? Maybe she's suicidal? And most predominantly: I WANT TO FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF HER. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I look down toward the bed at my grandmother who is deleriously staring out the door of her room waiting for something horrible to happen. IT'S A TORTURE CHAMBER! GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN! How vulnerable is that hot fucking gook right now - I think to myself as she slinks up and down the hall, pacing seemingly carelessly. PLEASE She pranced flirtatiously with her ass nearly creaping out of her white sweat pants, up and down, up and down, up and down, this way then that way, this way, that. FUCK ME- that's the only logical thought that I could imagine running through her mind. PLEASE GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN

I lived in this neighborhood more or less my whole life. One of the more fonder memories of childhood was Joe's. Joe was a husky gregarious man. Big thick black moustache, very outgoing. He owned his little corner variety store that does a little catering and sells milk, sandwiches, and little useful things like that for a long time. I could probably almost hit his store with a rock from my back yard it's so close.

When I was really young I used to go there almost everyday and buy baseball cards, candy and other stuff. One of my friends who I grew up with lived two doors down from me, his parents used to send him there to buy them cigarettes. They also had a video game that would change every few months, and everytime i was in there i'd always drop a few quarters in and keep myself busy for a little while (I mastered PunchOut and Tag Team Wrestling).

Well many years have gone buy. There is a new owner and if his name is Joe it must be short for Joemohammadmakmood. The store itself seems a bit run down. There's no more baseball cards, no video game. That's ok, my tastes have changed as I've grown. I'm a little more practical. I can go there to get a cheesesteak, a hoagie, and it's pretty good. One fine morning on the weekend, I wanted to go get coffee. I'm out of the canned shit which I hate anyway), so...I'll just take a quick walk to Joe's! I go there, and I never ever thought to buy coffee there before so it was a very exciting experience!

But anyway, "Joe" has a little house coffee maker and these little cheap styrofoam cups with lids. It gives you that local, home brewed goodness type feeling AND it only costs $.70. It's perfect! I'll never have to drink shitty canned coffee again! This little nigger's got everything! True story, he even says to me as i'm paying for it, "If you go to 7/11 they charge you like $1.10!" I was like "Whoa, you are beautiful! I love you! From now on, you get all of my coffee business forever and ever!"

Week 2:
There's a fucking blizzard. 12 inches of snow on the ground. I want some coffee! I take a walk. "Joe"'s a little busy making some breakfast sandwiches for some old guy. I want some coffee. I go towards the machine. The old fuck that standing there says, "It's ice cold." And I was like, "Oh". He says, "He'll heat it up for you." "Joe" says, "Yes i will heat it up in a jiffy!". I says, "Eh don't worry about it i got a microwave, and i don't really feel like waitng" (Ah but maybe if they had PunchOut there I would have waited!) I buy the coffee (he charges me full price!), go home and nuke it and then FINALLY i get what I want....coffee!

Week 3
Sunday morning. I want coffee! I walk down there and there's a fresh brewed pot of hot steaming piping WATER. YOU FUCKING STUPID NIGGER YOU KNOW WHY THEY CHARGE YOU $1.10 AT 7/11 FOR FUCKING COFFEE BECAUSE EVERYTIME YOU WALK INTO THE FUCKING 7/11 THEY HAVE HOT....REPEAT HOT HOT YOU FUCKING OSAMA FUCK.....HOT FUCKING COFFEE READY TO GO FOR MY HUNGOVER ASS FUCK YOU AND THIS FUCKING SHIT HOLE.....IWANT COFFEEE YOU FUCK FUCKING HOT HOT HOT COFFEE AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!


Then I fucking grabbed him by his fucking ear like a he was a bad dog. cut his fucking throat and lauged at him as he drowned to death in his own blood. Now I'm sitting in my study behind my computer with a rifle waiting for the police to come get me. This may be my final post. But anyway...

How is everyone's weekend going so far?

why does the chorus in "Changes" go "things will never be the same", when the whole point of the song is that things never change. I know it's sampled from another song, but still...

Quote:Reggie Miller of the Indiana Pacers will retire at the end of this season, his sister, Cheryl, reported Thursday night on TNT.

"Over the last couple of weeks there has been a lot of speculation on whether or not this will be Reggie Miller's last season," Cheryl Miller said. "Yesterday I spoke to Reggie, and after 18 seasons with the Indiana Pacers, this will definitely be his last season."

Miller, 39, has been one of the league's best outside shooters during a career that has included five All-Star appearances, 131 playoff games and a trip to the NBA Finals. He helped transform the Pacers from one of the NBA's worst teams into one of its most consistent.

The Indianapolis Star reported in Friday's editions Miller informed Pacers coach Rick Carlisle of his decision early Thursday evening.

"It's not a shock," Carlisle told the paper. "I guess it's a sobering dose of reality that this is the last season to see one of the game's greatest players."

Pacers chief executive Donnie Walsh said Friday that he had not yet talked with Miller about his decision but that he "knew the day was coming."

"He was a constant threat on many very good teams," Walsh told The Associated Press. "On top of that, he was a thorough professional both on and off the court. If in fact this is his last season, I will miss him."

Miller is Indiana's all-time leader in scoring, assists, steals and several other categories, and ranks 14th on the NBA's all-time scoring list. He holds NBA records for most 3-pointers made (2,505) and attempted (6,321).

"Reggie said that it has been a great run, feels very positive with where the organization and the team is headed," Cheryl Miller said during TNT's broadcast of the Lakers-Pistons game. "He said the one thing that he can look back on in his career, barring the ugly situation in November here at Detroit; he says he has a lot of great memories."

Two weeks ago, Miller angrily shot down another TNT reporter's story that Miller had informed his teammates of his plans to retire. Miller said if he were to make such an announcement, he'd break the news through his older sister.

Carlisle told the Star he didn't think Miller's announcement would be a distraction to the team.

"I view it as an important event," Carlisle said. "I think it's something that has been taken very seriously. This is the last opportunity to be with Reggie, who is one of the greatest players. This is also a last opportunity for the fans to see one of the greatest players. This is going to bring extra meaning to our remaining games this season."

Since 1990, the Pacers have made the playoffs all but one year and have reached the Eastern Conference playoffs six times. Miller is averaging 11.9 points as the starting shooting guard for the Pacers, who play Friday night at home against Houston.

"Reggie said, 'It has been a great run, a lot of wonderful memories,' and the one thing he can really be proud of is that he finished his career with one team -- something we don't see a lot of in sports today," Cheryl Miller said.

Detroit Pistons coach Larry Brown, who coached Miller for four seasons in the mid-1990s, called him "the best shooter I've ever been around."

"If you needed one guy to make an outside shot, I don't know if you could find anybody better," Brown said Thursday night. "He's going to be missed."

Miller's NBA career began with a cascade of boos when Walsh selected him with the 11th pick in the 1987 draft out of UCLA. Fans wanted Steve Alford, who had just led Indiana to the NCAA championship.

"I was pretty confident that we had done the right thing," Walsh said Friday. "He turned out to be a great player."

Miller burst into national prominence in 1994 when he scored 25 fourth-quarter points in an Eastern Conference finals victory over the New York Knicks while trading words with Spike Lee as the movie director sat courtside.

A year later against the Knicks, he hit two 3-pointers while scoring eight points in the final 8.9 seconds for a 107-105 playoff win in Madison Square Garden.

Miller averaged at least 18 points a game for 12 consecutive seasons through 2000-01. He has been praised by teammates and coaches for allowing others -- notably Jermaine O'Neal -- to take a more prominent role.

This is my prediction.....

The voice goes silent.



Because of the attention being paid to me I find it is no longer possible to effectively be a poster for CDIH. In consideration of the welfare of me and my family I have decided to return to private life.

Thank you to all those who supported me.

I used to lose myself in this book when i was younger. I saw it online and ordered it two weeks ago. I would have completely forgot if it didn't just arrive today. I am in awe going through. It's like I'm 5 again. There's just a flood of nostalgia that this book is bringing back. Best 15 bucks i ever spent and didn't snort. I suggest you all buy it or something similiar from your youth, it's wild.