How to create mayhem, confusion, and chaos for your own personal amusement.


Reverse the push and pull signs on a door. Stand back and watch the morons figure out how to open the door.

Reverse the entrance and exit signs at the drive through. Fun for you and the Down's Victim at the window.

Must have game thread:

Squishy

From ("Computer Stupidities") <!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/">http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/</a><!-- m -->
For all those free AOL disks you've gotten.......
Free Disks
With America Online and other companies sending
diskettes and CD-ROMs in the mail like they were grocery store sale flyers,
computer illiterates are given more opportunities to be perplexed and
befuddled. And scared.

* Customer: "Oh, my gosh, I just received this disk in the mail; I
never ordered a disk! Am I a member? Am I being charged for this?"

****************************************************************************
****************

* Customer: "I just got your software in the mail, and what I wanted
to know was...will I be charged if I just look at the software? I mean, I
don't even have a modem yet."

****************************************************************************
****************

* Customer: "Well, I got one of your free disks in the mail, but I
don't have a computer. I just wanted to thank you for sending this to me."
* Tech Support: "...Ah...is that the only reason you're calling, sir?"

* Customer: "Yes, I just thought that was really nice of you people,
sending me this disk. I really appreciate it!"

****************************************************************************
****************

* Customer: "I received one of your disks in the mail today, and I
want to know if I'm going to be charged for it."
* Tech Support: "No, ma'am, it was a free mail-out."
* Customer: "We don't even have a computer! You know, it's really not
a good idea to be sending people these things in the mail when they didn't
ask for them. That's pretty rude."

****************************************************************************
****************

* Customer: "Yes, I just want to know how to return this disk to you
people."
* Tech Support: "Ma'am, the software is free. You can throw it out,
give it to a friend, whatever you want."
* Customer: "But my nephew received this in the mail, and I don't want
him to be billed for it. Can I get credited for this?"
* Tech Support: "We don't bill you until you actually install the
software and register as a user."
* Customer: "Can you get me credited for this?"
* Tech Support: "Ma'am, we have not billed you for anything."
* Customer: "Well, if you can't credit me then please transfer me to
someone who can!"

****************************************************************************
****************

* Customer: "I got one o' these here disks of yours. Is this one a
those new home security systems, that all I have to do is put it here in my
winda, and it'll scare away burgulars?"
* Tech Support: "No, sir, this is for a computer. Do you own a
computer?"
* Customer: "Well, hell, what do I need with a computer? I just got me
one o' them 45-inch big screen TV's. I don't need no computer!"

****************************************************************************
****************

* Customer: "You sent me this diskette. Are you gonna send me a
computer so I can run this?"
* Tech Support: "Excuse me?"

****************************************************************************
****************

* Customer: "I just got your software in the mail...when are you
sending the computer?"
* Tech Support: "You don't have a computer?"
* Customer: "Nope. But I have the software -- just send me the
computer, and you've got a new member."

****************************************************************************
****************

* Customer: "I got a disk in the mail, and I don't have a computer.
What do I do with it?"
* Tech Support: "Well, you could give it to a friend."
* Customer: "And how do I do that?!"
* Tech Support: "Just give it to a friend who might want to try our
service."
* Customer: "Can I speak to a supervisor?"
* Tech Support: "Why??"
* Customer: "Because I wanna speak to a supervisor."
She was transferred, and I listened in a while. The customer said that she
didn't like my answer to her question. For some reason known to her and her
alone, suggesting that you give a disk to a friend is unprofessional.

****************************************************************************
****************

I work at a big box computer store, and one of our weekly ads showed that we
had free America Online 5.0 disks at our store. Unfortunately, due to a
shipping error, we only received one box, which went really fast. I had one
middle aged customer come up to me.
* Customer: "Hello, where can I find the free AOL 5.0 disks?"
* Me: "I am sorry sir, due to a shipping error, we have not yet
received them, but they should be in by Wednesday."
* Customer: "So you mean I drove all the way down here from Englewood
(about six blocks away), and you don't have any of the disks? That's false
advertising!"
* Me: "I am sorry sir, but it is due to circumstances beyond our
control. If you need one that badly, I can tell you where to get one down
the street."
* Customer: "I ain't drivin' no more today."
* Me: "Ok, then. Is there anything else I can do for you?"
* Customer: "Can I get a raincheck?"
* Me: "Sir, I don't think I can give you a raincheck on a FREE item."
* Customer: "Well I ain't shopping here no more."
He walked in front of the entrance doors, which are clearly labeled
"ENTRANCE ONLY," stood there for almost a minute waiting for the door to
open, finally realized he was at the wrong doors, and huffed towards the
real exit.

****************************************************************************
****************

One night working at technical support, this old lady called and told me
that she received our disk and said that she's afraid of it.
* Tech Support: "Well ma'am, there is nothing to be afraid of. It's
for your computer."
* Customer: "Well, I don't have a computer. The directions say
'install and run'. I'm too old to run."
* Tech Support: "Ma'am, could you please hold?"
I need a brief pause to scream with laughter.
* Tech Support: "Ma'am, I can assure you that you are ok."
* Customer: "Ok. Should I call the police?"
* Tech Support: "No, ma'am, just throw it away."
* Customer: "Well, there is a silver thing that slides across, and it
clicks. What is that?"
* Tech Support: "It is safe to throw it away. It's for a computer,
ok?"
* Customer: "But is this a bomb?"
* Tech Support: "No, ma'am, just throw it away."
* Customer: "Now?"
* Tech Support: "Yes, if you like."
* Customer: "Son, you saved my life! Thank you, and have a nice day."

****************************************************************************
****************

A call came from a little girl:
* Timid Voice: "I just got your diskette today."
* Tech Support: "How can I help you, honey?"
* Timid Voice: "It won't fit my computer."
* Tech Support: "What kind of computer do you have?"
* Timid Voice: "A Talking Whiz Kid."

****************************************************************************
****************

I think we got off to a bad start.

Let's start fresh. :bouncer:

I just wanted to say hi buddy. :bouncer: Arpi keeps ignoring you in his "list" so I just thought I'd spread some more love to you in yet ANOTHER forum.


Have a good night! :fuggin:

Since we are voting on a mod for another forum, I decided we should do the same here.

jack shit

I was thinking of letting my friend install this on my pc so that my other pcs could all share my DSL broadband.

Has anyone heard about using this program to do that? Is it any good? Is there one that's better?

I would really appreciate some opinions.. thanks

I love all the improvements and Sean and Keyser have done a wonderful job but... I can't really read the new buttons.

(the ones at the top of the pages I mean)

The ones that show up on the left are waaay cool



Edited By Ahlexus on April 09 2002 at 9:24

we will have a full vote for a board wide mod, I just am returning to work soon and need to get a couple of more people up and going as mods to run our favorite waste of internet space.

So, who becomes the Bus Driver?