The Vagina Maker!

If you don't have a vagina, then you will soon! Snip, Snip, Slice, Stab!

"He cut off his ears and shoved them into his lower intestines claiming they were his new ovaries!" - Horrified Child Witness

He wants to give you a vagina...whether you want one or not!

He's...

The Vagina Maker!

*Musical Crecendo"

*bloody scissor shot*

End

My boss has been giving me compliments on my weight loss for a while now but today was kinda weird and was like a usual suspects moment.

He starts staring at me from across my desk and not saying anything, then he starts saying "you know I gotta say" and he stutters as he says it and I never heard him stutter before, never seen him nervous, nothing of the sort.

him: I gotta say, you are looking really good
me: uhh thanks!
him: no I mean really good
me: yeah, really thanks
him: i like the whole goatee thing you got going on, it looks really nice
me: yeah....
him: you know, if you keep this up, you may need to drop out of college and transfer to model school!! :nervous chuckle:
me: are you hitting on me?!?!?!
him: hahahaha, i gotta go pick up the kids

He didnt deny it!!!!

He's gonna be back in an hour he said.

Zito to the Giants (7 years, $126MM)

Now the Yankees are stuck with RJ, and now the Mets have to go into the season with Tom Glavine and Orlando Hernandez as their two best pitchers.

After my fucking Matt Damon cock sucking in the "Best of YouTube" thread, I started to think of who my favorite and who the best actors are right now.

I say, and these are in no particular order:

1.) Ed Norton - Great in everything, but esp. "Rounders" and "Am. History X"
2.) Russel Crowe - Dickhead, but "Gladiator" and "Beautiful Mind"
3.) Leonardo DiCaprio -(Although, for some reason very unconvincing to me in "The Departed")
4.) Jack Nicholson - Everything, Except for the atrocity that was "Somethings Gotta Give"
5.) Kevin Spacey - "Usual Suspects", "American Beauty"
6.) Tim Robbins - "Shawshank Redemption" and "Mystic River"

There are more, but these were just quick off of the top of my head.

Now, lets see yours!!!111!!!!!11!!!!!1!!!

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10. Eva Longoria
9. Natalie Portman
8. Amerie
7. Jessica Biel
6. Charlize Theron
5. Maria Menounos
4. Adrianna Lima
3. Angelina Jolie
2. Sienna Miller
1. Jessica Alba

Not a bad list, i'm not really crazy about Sienna Miller or Amerie. Jessica Biel has a great body but her face is just average.

Here's my top 10...

1. Jessica Alba
2. Evangeline Lilly
3. Charlize Theron
4. Angelina Jolie
5. Monica Belluci
6. Kelly Monaco
7. Salma Hayek
8. Scarlett Johansson
9. Sophia Vergara
10. Bridget Moynahan

Honorable mention....that long haired brunette chick who does the local evening news on ABC 7 in New York.

I signed onto gmail & I was about to hit him up on the chat when *POOF* he logged off.

what the fuck!!

The best thing about them is when one of the parties thinks their phone is muted and it isn't and you hear them paying for the pizza they just ordered.

Teleconferences are reputation ied's!

Is anyone familiar with how to actually take an avi or an mpeg and move it to a DVD that is viewable on television?

Preferably, i'd like to use the OS/X software, but if I have to i'll use some other application.

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i just watched a lion take a shit. i think he had diarrhea.

james brown is dead

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sad, cause I was always a big james brown fan, but then again with all the shit he's done, it is amazing he made it to 73.

"It's a Man's Man's Man's World" is still one of the greatest recordings ever.